The Maintenance-Sockpuppet Connection.Follow

I think i finally figured out how SE plans their maintenance schedule.

By my records i believe it is perfectly timed with the mating habits of the wild sockpuppet. All sockpuppets descend from one ancient form of sockpuppet that managed to reproduce asexually and then mated with itself.

So essentially the sockpuppets are the results of eons of imbreeding. With each maintenance the sockpuppets gather in their ancesteral forum mating grounda. The Sockpuppets begin by making the stupidest post possible, their mating call, and await the responce of a mate. Sadly since the mating calls are so easily recognized they are often easily picked up by the forums natural predators and the sockpuppet is quickly devoured.

Some sockpuppets manages to lives on though. Through some fluke they manage to find safety within the naturally occuring inane posts or by mimicing the posting habits of higher species.

Safe from harm the sockpuppets await the announcement of maintenance extensions to signal the final breeding frenzy. Finally they engage in a giant imbred orgy, passing on their corrupt genetics on to the next generation before falling dead. Their offspring arising spurradically until their instincts detect next maintenance.