well it's just that there is a big diversity of ways to approach endgame. It's the downside to having a lot of content remain current. It means that you will never ever ever run out of things to do (especially if you haven't been playing for the full decade or so), but it also means there is no "one clear way" forward.
Frankly the best way to approach it is to make friends at a similar-ish position to you in the game and learn together.
Also, I think the biggest issue is that most players want to get into endgame before they are really ready for it. Like, I don't know what it's like in other games, but actually, hitting 99 does not in any way mean that it's time for endgame in FFXI.
I understand the desire to get started in endgame, since soloing forever is boring, but this game, for better or for worse, has a ton of content gated by old old old content. I know, because I hate doing missions, and I am locked out of a lot of end game opportunities because of that. Honestly, I think it's a dumb design decision by the devs because it makes it much much harder to keep new players (it is discouraging to constantly find out you can't do an event because you haven't soloed hours of cut scenes).
Anyway, the only way to enjoy this game in the long term is to not get into the mindset of "rushing" because you will inevitably hit the wall and ragequit because this game WILL NOT LET YOU RUSH. Pretty much everything is gated in one way or another, and that gating often requires you to spend a lot of time soloing regardless of whether you are endgame geared or not.
Also I should mention some of the
unity NMs drop 119 gear. Even though it's generally not the best 119 gear it's actually probably the most accessible. To access those NMs you need to spend unity accolades, so do your Records of Eminence unity objectives.
Also you can work on getting your
AF/relic upgraded to 119 but that requires the near completion of Chains of Promathia missions before you can start (other than getting the base pieces anyway)
Edited, Dec 18th 2014 10:20am by Olorinus