Acceptance and I have a long history of hating each other. :P There was a time (oh boy, reminiscing!) when I was one of the top DDs on Titan, and I was insanely competitive. But I completely hear you - it's kinda just understood that if you're grouped up with people who have 10+ levels on you, you aren't going to be in the same ballpark.
NIN is actually just a SJ (Lv38 at the moment), but I did see the Aurore gear for THF. It's dirt cheap on the AH, so I may pick up a few pieces. They seem more directed for multi-purpose use, but I may find a home for them. I have a lot of ra/ex gear from before (Homam, Hecatomb, O.Hat, W.Turban, full AF2, AF+1 hands, etc.), so I think I probably just need to piece-meal and assort gear into categories, but that's definitely helpful advice.
Until you see it, You will not understand how powerful atmas make you. Even at 99, a freshly leveled player without atmas will seem like a fly to a full 99 atmas/abyssites. The 3 stat boosting abyssites add +10 or + 15 per abyssite (+45 maybe for all 3) to all stats just for having them. Then Razed Ruins with +40 or 50 dex(cant remember) and 200 dex is normal before gear nowadays.
But even then, being top DD is kinda moot. A good Ascetics Fury from my mnk can 1 shot some XP mobs, same with Eviseration and those are old WS, Victory Smite and Ukko Fury (until the mentioned nerf comes down) can be even more insane.
For thf, pink crap replaced Homan. esp with the ease of getting it. Then raiders ( af3 or emp armor name varies among players.)