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Which of These Warriors is You?Follow

#1 Aug 04 2004 at 10:52 AM Rating: Excellent
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Yeah, I was bored this morning....


How different WAR subs would handle everyday problems.

Taking out the Trash:

WAR/MNK
He gathers all of the trash from the house. Every now and then he uses boost to keep from dropping the many bags.
Once he dumps them into his trash bin he wheels it out to the curb. Being a WAR and not too bright he is hit by a car.
He walks back inside the house to call a tow truck to come and get the car.

WAR/THF
Using flee, he speeds around the house gathering all of the trash in lightening fashion. While doing so he finds $2.87 in spare change. He is out to the curb and back so fast that the car misses him entirely. Chores complete, he hops his fence and uses sneak attack to snog his neighbor’s wife.

WAR/NIN
Whipping out his trusty bag of magic dust he casts Hitecky Macasooni: Garbage. (at a cost of $1,300) All of the trash in the house floats in the air and follows him out to the curb. The whole time he is using his cell phone in one hand AND holding orange juice in the other hand. The car hits one of his shadows and he doesn’t notice.

WAR/WHM
Mr. Buttersheep gathers up all the trash. His many months of book study have cut his gym time and the trash is a lot heaver than he was expecting. Dumping the trash into the bin he wheels it out to the curb. His slight boost in intelligence allows him to look for traffic before he steps into the street. However he is still a WAR and still not so bright and he watches as the car hits him anyway. The occupants of the car leap out and rush to aid him but he waives them off. He can after all cast cure on him self. He does so and feels a little better. He must lie there for another hour before he has enough mana to cast it again. Three days later he feels good enough to actually get up.

Saving the Princess:

WAR/MNK
Our hero finds the Princess at the local vending machine. The vile machine has taken her dollar but not given her the drink she picked. Pulling he GAXE he uses boost and cuts the machine in half. She gets the drink she wants AND the dollar back. He gets a phone number.

WAR/THF
Our hero finds the Princess at the local vending machine. With sneaky finger work he gets 3 sodas, 2 candy bars, and the entire contents of the coin box. After getting her phone number he uses sneak attack and trick attack to goose her on the ***. Spinning around the Princess punches the WAR/WHM, who was standing near by, in the mouth.

WAR/NIN
Our hero finds the Princess at the local vending machine. Whipping out his bag of magic dust he casts YokoOno Wocsahsi: Vending Machine (at a cost of $2,015). Cans spew out of the machine. He walks off with the Princess in one hand AND a soda in the other.

WAR/WHM
He still isn’t sure why he got punched.

Doing the Laundry:

WAR/MNK
Pretty simple. His Monk clothes are all darks so he tosses those in with everything else.

WAR/THF
No problem here.

WAR/NIN
He COULD cast Woliteikaite Fijitsu: Wash. (That would cost him $28.95) But he needs to save cash so he does it the normal way. As he does the laundry he reads a copy of muscle fitness in one hand AND holds his beer in the other hand.

WAR/WHM
Buttersheep boy tossed his WHM clothes in with his AF armor and now his mage robes have been turned pink.




#2 Aug 04 2004 at 11:07 AM Rating: Default
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LMAO...good stuff

I'm WAR/NIN the whole way I love casting Doggio: Killiti Mailman when i get my mail
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#3 Aug 04 2004 at 11:11 AM Rating: Default
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My brother turned a few of my towels pink...
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#4 Aug 04 2004 at 11:18 AM Rating: Default
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no contest for me, i'm the buttersheep

I kid I kid

i'm the war/thf

hey i love grabbing the booty
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#5 Aug 04 2004 at 11:23 AM Rating: Default
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Hilarious stuff!
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#6 Aug 04 2004 at 11:58 AM Rating: Decent
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War/thf taking out the trash reminds me of the super-hero Flash, and I loved Flash.

I'm a war/thf for sure.


Btw, could you imagine if you actually WERE one of these, and your entire neighborhood were all made up of different ffxi classes?


Whm wife: Where you going Isten?

Isten(war/thf): Oh I gotta go meet up with some friends, it's poker night.

Whm wife: Again? Last time you guys played they called the police(GM's) on you for cheating.

Isten: I didn't cheat! I just snagged some gil out of the my DRK and Sam buddies pockets. I was low on cash, figured I'd steal some, but I got caught.

Whm wife: Oh! wait take this, it's some left overs for the wyvern.

Isten: Baby, you know it doesn't like cooked food.

Whm wife: take the bones then he can knaw on them.

Isten: *sigh* Ok. By the way you see the car keys?



*** driving down the street****

*buttersheep runs into the road and gets hit**

Isten: Damnit Butters! What'd I tell you about the street!
Butters: I can't help it, you know how I get when I take out the trash.
Isten: Here, have some juice, maybe you'll be up by the time I come home.
Butters: thanks!


** at DRk Ir1337's house ***

Drk Ir1337: Isten bout time you showed up! Rng's still at the mall, he'll be back soon.

Isten: Upgrading again? **** that kid just wants to be "mr. fashion".

** arrow whizzes by isten's head**

Rng: Next time it's through your skull
Isten: haha! Are you still mad that I cut your toes off with my axe by accident last time we drank?
Rng: Don't talk about that.


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Yeah, I was bored too...
#7 Aug 04 2004 at 4:25 PM Rating: Good
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Quote:
Damnit Butters!

LMAO!!
All I can think of right now is South Park.
#8 Aug 04 2004 at 7:59 PM Rating: Default
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I'm WAR/NIN, only because of the beer. ^^
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#9 Aug 04 2004 at 8:34 PM Rating: Decent
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More Taking out the Trash:

DRK/WAR (ok, so it's not a WAR, so sue me)
He takes out the bag of trash, only to miss the garbage can several times in a row. When he finally does land the bag in the can, he finds comfort in the fact that it was really big bag of trash. He notices the WAR next door having no accuracy problems. He decides to start a nasty rumor that WARs are terribly Trash Dealers.

WAR/WHM:
Rarely gets to actually take out the trash. He spends all his time inside the house LFT (Looking For Trash).
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#10 Aug 04 2004 at 10:15 PM Rating: Default
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Then everyone else thanks to the DRK's assumption, that beacuse we don't take out as large a trash load, they think that we aren't as good at taking out the Trash. But, in reality our TOT (trash over time) is way better because we don't miss the can.
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#11 Aug 04 2004 at 10:26 PM Rating: Default
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WAR/RDM: Looks around the house and casts en-trash only to find that every time he picks up a piece it becomes 3 pieces. Noticing the trash closing in on him he casts stoneskin and phalanx, but its to late. The WAR/RDM has to call for help. The WAR/WHM who is now able to hobble heeds the call and quickly casts bar-trash. Only his enhancing skills aren't up to snuff. Quickly the trash agros him... the WAR/WHM calls for help but doesn't give a <pos>. The WAR/NIN casts Wariz Warudo: WAR/WHM for ($3,218) and finds out he's next door. Without hesitation he dual wields his land line and he cell to call for back up. WAR/THF and WAR/MNK spring and thunk into action respective-like. 2 hours later, the trash is canned, the WAR/WHM is still waiting to cure himself, while the WAR/RDM is stuck in Rabao.

Edited, Wed Aug 4 23:34:20 2004 by Aphaelion
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#12 Aug 04 2004 at 10:26 PM Rating: Default
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Quote:
WAR/THF
Our hero finds the Princess at the local vending machine. With sneaky finger work he gets 3 sodas, 2 candy bars, and the entire contents of the coin box. After getting her phone number he uses sneak attack and trick attack to goose her on the ***. Spinning around the Princess punches the WAR/WHM, who was standing near by, in the mouth.


Oh yeah...definitely a War/Thf^^
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#13 Aug 05 2004 at 1:55 AM Rating: Decent
Hilarious! By the way I spend money on my ninja tools, that sounds about right.

Quote:
The car hits one of his shadows and he doesn’t notice.


Haha I love it.
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#14 Aug 05 2004 at 4:34 AM Rating: Decent
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Quote:
He walks back inside the house to call a tow truck to come and get the car.


that.....was f'in gold.

war/nin baby. the soda AND the girl.
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#15 Aug 05 2004 at 4:56 AM Rating: Default
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Quote:
He walks back inside the house to call a tow truck to come and get the car.


I'm gonna have to agree with above poster and say that was f'ing comedy gold right there... I almost fell outta my chair... ^^
#16 Aug 05 2004 at 9:49 AM Rating: Default
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Quote:
He walks back inside the house to call a tow truck to come and get the car.


Funny stuff!

Quote:
Saving the Princess:


I'm the beautiful princess, just ask my LS and they will tell you so. ^.^
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#17 Aug 05 2004 at 9:57 AM Rating: Default
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*double post, stupid lag*

Edited, Thu Aug 5 11:13:42 2004 by Deedlitchan
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#18 Aug 05 2004 at 10:40 AM Rating: Default
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Smiley: clapSmiley: bowdownSmiley: clap



Quote:
WAR/THF
Our hero finds the Princess at the local vending machine. With sneaky finger work he gets 3 sodas, 2 candy bars, and the entire contents of the coin box. After getting her phone number he uses sneak attack and trick attack to goose her on the ***. Spinning around the Princess punches the WAR/WHM, who was standing near by, in the mouth.

oh yea, that's me all the way lol



Smiley: goatSmiley: cookieSmiley: goat



edit: added an extra goat for you to tear the arms off of and a cookie to enjoy when you're done





Edited, Thu Aug 5 12:00:17 2004 by melbolt
#19 Aug 05 2004 at 12:57 PM Rating: Decent
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RL situation : Getting inside that club so you can score chicks tonight.

WAR/MNK : Walks up to the bouncer and announces he's going in. Bouncer gives him trouble. After shouting like a maniac ( BOOST! CONCENTRATE! BERZERK! ) he pulls out the great axe and smashes the bouncer to the ground. He goes in and mingles. Clamato please!

WAR/THF : Watches from the line in front of the club the WAR/MNK go bongo on the bouncer, he runs in, tricks on the buttersheep(WAR/WHM) in line, loots the dead bouncer , /sh that the buttersheep did it, and runs in before anybody can realise what the **** really happened. Buys a drink to everyone at the bar with the bouncer's money, and makes friend fast ( the sly git!)

WAR/NIN : He's a ninja. He was already in, in the corner table, with 4 chicks having a martini. Course nobody saw him come in. He's a ninja. Girls go wild when he goes on stage to dance when the Dj puts on "kung-fu fighting". He somehow disapears in the toilet with 2 of the chicks.

The buttersheep (WAR/WHM) : He's still outside. After being attacked by other bouncers , he decides to heal them because after all, they didn't know any better. He's still sitting out there by the time the club closes ( i can't go in there without my mana! ).

Edited, Thu Aug 5 13:59:25 2004 by Sneakysquirrel
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#20 Aug 05 2004 at 4:13 PM Rating: Default
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Quote:
Chores complete, he hops his fence and uses sneak attack to snog his neighbor’s wife.


I was on the phone with a customer when I read that, not good, "what's so funny sir?" "nothing mam had a catch in my throat??"

gotta love playing off the laugh as smokers lung.

BUT, I have to say, being a ninja myself I like a lil Tonko action for some invis and then sneak in a different house in the neighborhood every day and keep a variety you know...Mrs. Struthers loves it when I duel wield KY jelly and a corn cob..you know ol Sally don't ya?

But, I may have to lvl THF because I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to SATA Tonya Harding onto my x wife =D
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#21 Aug 05 2004 at 8:47 PM Rating: Default
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War/Thf...loose change is good
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#22 Aug 06 2004 at 8:22 PM Rating: Default
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Haha, this is hilarious! I'd have to go with the WAR/MNK. He's not too bright, but gets the job done regardless.

Another great thread Grumpywookie ^^
#23 Aug 07 2004 at 1:15 PM Rating: Default
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Genious.. Rate up LOL
I get a break from reading other trash posts, this one actually offers some comedy....

Quote:
war/mnk He gathers all of the trash from the house. Every now and then he uses boost to keep from dropping the many bags.


lol keeps from dropping many bags. Should add "uses boost and focuses to keep him from dropping many bags" lol

Quote:
Mr. Buttersheep gathers up all the trash. His many months of book study have cut his gym time and the trash is a lot heaver than he was expecting.


Ah hahaha... Cut his gym time, the job is lot heavier, **** yeah ... Mr. Buttersheep.
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#24 Aug 07 2004 at 1:50 PM Rating: Default
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WAR/SAM
Taking out the trash.

The WAR/SAM is in the house and uses Third Eye to anticipate the trash. After it missing he uses meditate and runs out to the trash can. After getting 900% TP, he uses 10 Sturmwinds in a row, and the trash can explodes. After that he uses his Third Eye again for good measure.

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#25 Oct 23 2004 at 7:46 AM Rating: Default
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Beautiful thread. Now let's see for other job classes...
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#26 Oct 23 2004 at 1:33 PM Rating: Default
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WAR/BLM - like mr buttersheep he has cut his gym time and the bags are far to heavy, after getting conked on the head by the trash he casts his gimped aero spell and ends up cutting the bag and the trash falls on top of him. hours later he's still resting his mp, he misses the trash pickup completely.

Crap but meh ive got a headache gimme credit :/.
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