My mother sent this to me today and I thought people might enjoy it :)
*"IF YOU CAN'T FEED EM, DON'T BREED EM!"*
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*Constipated People Don't Give A Crap. * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer. * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
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The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
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I Have The Body Of A God - Buddha.
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*So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time. * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway. *
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Illiterate? Write For Help.
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Honk If Anything Falls Off.
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Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
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He Who Hesitates Not Only Is Lost,
But is Miles From The Next Exit.
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I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits
With An Unarmed Person.
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*You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now! *
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*I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To. * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
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(Seen Upside Down On A Jeep)
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph
Also Are Timed For 70 mph
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Guys: No Shirt, No Service
Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
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If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does
My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
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Ax Me About Ebonics.
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*Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel. *
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*Boldly Going Nowhere. *
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*Caution - Driver Legally Blonde. *
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*Heart Attacks: God's Revenge
For Eating His Animal Friends *
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Honk If You've Never Seen
An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
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How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down
Before He Admits He is Lost?
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*GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN. **
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*All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets.** * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AND Finally
*POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED
TO BE** **CHANGED OFTEN, *AND FOR
THE SAME REASON"