********* (I Love You) Interlude IV: Tsuushin (Heartache)Follow

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Funny...I never expected to be writing something today. To be honest, I really didn’t. My muse at work once again...

This is an Interlude, so you know what that means: Hitomi’s point of view. All the thinking is in Japanese, but translated into English for ease of reading.

Previous chapters, aki, and Interludes

Part I - Connection (Enishi)

Kasho II - Kodoku (Solitude)

Part III - Reunion (Saikai)

Kasho IV- Suriyoru (Closer)
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(Aki XXX)
http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=35&mid=112238583589703268&num=3

(Chapter XXXI)
http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=35&mid=1122559673284936731

Dedicated to Mikaru...someday, I’ll be able to take care of you like you need to be. Chicken noodle soup, medicine, and everything.
***
Interlude IV: Tsuushin (Heartache)
***
Groggily, I slowly started to stir up from my empty dreams to the sound of a man’s voice distantly coming to me from overhead.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. It appears that one of our steam engines are still broken down, and that it will be a few more hours until another ship can make it out here with replacement parts. Because of this, we will unfortunately not be able to make landfall until possibly tomorrow morning. It is currently twenty two hundred hours, and the skies are projected to remain clear throughout the rest of the night. Maat out.”

Where was I?

I stretched my fingertips out, feeling soft linen beneath them as my memory slowly floated back to me.

I remember feeling sick when I got onto this ship...and it only got worse and worse until I collapsed on the deck...

The last thing I remember was Dimitri-chan touching my face...

I carefully opened my eyes, and saw the small prism light hanging overhead slowly swinging in time to the rocking of the boat upon the ocean’s waves. From left to right, then to the left again, the metal chains squeaking a tiny bit with every change in direction.

Dimitri-chan...

With the thought of his name, I drew my shirt even tighter over the burned tattoo on my breast.

I wish you didn’t blindly both hate all of the beastmen, and Love the Duchy so much...

It hurts my soul...it really does...

The world started to swirl above me, and I felt the sickness start to stake its claim over me once more.

Is this why my masters said the mark that they burned onto me meant I could never Love, or be Loved?

Its like someone dumped ice water on my soul, threatening to make it flicker and then die out.

Or...can one not love with great intensity, without hating just as strongly? Can I never know true Love until I Hate with equal passion?

Can I ever truly love Dimitri-chan with all my heart then?...

As my ears slowly became attuned to the ocean, I could faintly detect someone’s shallow breaths next to me. Fighting off a fresh wave of nausea, I turned my head over in bed slightly and I could see...

Dimitri-chan slumped up in a chair next to me with his arms crossed over his chest, and his head bowed with his eyes closed, soundly asleep.

Did you stay all this time with me, Dimitri-chan?

Secretly...

I hoped he did.

-fin Interlude IV: Tsuushin (Heartache)