The Great Lockbox MysteryFollow

About 7 years ago I had a roommate, Ben, who kept a small wooden box in his room. The box was locked with a combination lock. There were 4 of us that lived in the apartment and from time to time we would ask him about the box. He always got really defensive/angry about it. At one point we were threatening to remove the hinges to find out what was inside but due to his anger at discovering our plan we backed off.

Last night I was hanging out with some friends, and one of them still has contact with Ben. He said that a few years ago the topic of the lockbox came up and Ben had said "What is in that box...you guys just wouldn't understand." So, once again we were all curious about the lockbox. We found out from one of the friend's wives that Ben still has the box. He is married now and his wife didn't even know what was in the box.

So, we talked the friend's wife into calling Ben's wife to find out if the box mystery had ever been solved. After a few minutes of talking to Ben's wife, she convinced her to approach Ben and talk him into opening the box.

A few minutes later she called back. The mystery had been solved! I could tell we had received word of what was in the box and everyone was excited to hear the result. However, the result was disappointing. The box contained:

2 **** tapes

Various cut-outs form nudie magazines

A collection of pressed pennies that had been flattened and had designs pressed into them. The type you could get out of a machine at an amusement park or something.

I still think he is hiding something, but I'm not sure if the wife is in on it or not.

Thanks for sharing that truly inspiring story of overcoming the forces that conspired to de-twatify you. The fact that, after years of plotting and scheming, life could not stop you from being an insipid little sh;t is, to me, something to make life worth living again.

I guess that means you suck at drawing conclusions, too. Perhaps you should just go with stick figures from now on.

I second that motion.

I've made a startling discovery. The word "box" was used approximately 13 times in the OP (counting thread title). This translates to about 4% of all words used.

Enjoy!

Strategery.

SNL FTW!