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#1 Mar 10 2006 at 2:43 PM Rating: Default
Erection keeps burglar out of jail

A German burglar has escaped a prison sentence - because he suffers from a permanent erection.

Maurice Baumann, 32, was sentenced to a year's jail for burgling homes in the British army garrison town of Bielefeld.

But he escaped prison after entering hospital as an "emergency case" for his unrelenting priapism.

After a week's treatment, doctors admitted they were only able to get his manhood down to "half-mast".

Baumann told a court in Bielefeld: "I woke up one morning with a hard-on. I didn't think anything of it - that happens to men a lot. But mine never went down."

A medical report revealed that doctors stuck needles in his manhood for 90 minutes in an attempt to reduce its size. But five minutes later it was erect again.

They also injected medication into it but that didn't help either.

A court ruled that he could stay out of jail while his problem persisted but the chief prosecutor of Bielefeld is not happy.

Harald Krahmoeller said: "Only patients with acute medical problems can stay out of jail and I don't regard him as an acute case. I hope to have him behind bars within two weeks."


This guy gets out of jail for having an everlasting chubby? WTF?

Edited, Fri Mar 10 14:44:27 2006 by shadomen
#2 Mar 10 2006 at 3:24 PM Rating: Decent
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He must be popular with the ladies.
#3 Mar 10 2006 at 3:25 PM Rating: Decent
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19,369 posts
Quote:
This guy gets out of jail for having an everlasting chubby? WTF?


Is that like an everlasting gobstopper?
#4 Mar 10 2006 at 3:25 PM Rating: Decent
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jeffoncom wrote:
He must be popular with the inmates, beotches.


FTFY
#5 Mar 10 2006 at 3:27 PM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
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TILT
Would you want a perma-hard on in the prison showers?
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#6 Mar 10 2006 at 3:28 PM Rating: Decent
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Where do you hang the towel?
#7 Mar 10 2006 at 3:28 PM Rating: Good
Don't see why not. Might be fun to chase people around the shower with it.

just like junior high
#8 Mar 10 2006 at 3:29 PM Rating: Good
Im sure his bunk mate suffers from lock jaw by now.

#9 Mar 10 2006 at 3:33 PM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
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The One and Only Frakkor wrote:
just like junior high
I don't know how you spent Jr. high... Smiley: dubious
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#10 Mar 10 2006 at 3:33 PM Rating: Good
One would think this would be a worse aliment to have to suffer through if you were in a prison shower.

Unless of course you have permawood.

Edited, Fri Mar 10 15:34:36 2006 by Frakkor
#11 Mar 10 2006 at 5:06 PM Rating: Decent
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Jophiel wrote:
The One and Only Frakkor wrote:
just like junior high
I don't know how you spent Jr. high... Smiley: dubious

I tihnk we have a pretty clear picture, now.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#12 Mar 10 2006 at 6:34 PM Rating: Good
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I really wanted to add on to this thread, but I'm blanking on prison shower puns.
#13 Mar 10 2006 at 6:37 PM Rating: Good
Never badder than bad 'cause the brother is madder than mad
At the fact that's corrupt as a senator
Soul on roll, but you treat it like soap on a rope
'Cause the beats in the lines are so dope
#14 Mar 10 2006 at 6:38 PM Rating: Good
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Elderon the Wise wrote:
Never badder than bad 'cause the brother is madder than mad
At the fact that's corrupt as a senator
Soul on roll, but you treat it like soap on a rope
'Cause the beats in the lines are so dope

Holy crap that song kicks ***.
#15 Mar 11 2006 at 9:55 AM Rating: Good
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Quote:
A medical report revealed that doctors stuck needles in his manhood for 90 minutes in an attempt to reduce its size.
Smiley: laugh
#16 Mar 11 2006 at 10:10 AM Rating: Default
don't know about anyone else, but needles in my johnson for .5 seconds, let alone 90 minutes, woud make mine go down...

they should put him in there anyways... it would give the other inmates a chance to have some fun...

#17 Mar 11 2006 at 12:20 PM Rating: Decent
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Invisablerat wrote:
needles in my johnson for .5 seconds, let alone 90 minutes, woud make mine go down...

I think what you really mean is you'd go down on a needleprick in .5 second....
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