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My wife loves tea but her laptop doesn't.Follow

#1 Apr 24 2015 at 8:19 AM Rating: Good
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My wife made herself a fresh tea and left it on the table beside her laptop while she tended to the children. Our Ferret got up on the table and tipped it over onto her laptop. My wife didn't notice so it happened sometime within a 30 minute period and was found post tech apocalypse.

Upside down, battery out, open on a towel all night. It now turns on (that's a massive improvement) but the keyboard doesn't work, I know what I'll be doing on my Friday night...

While dealing with that and googling "why is my wife retarded" the power supply on my desktop had an emo moment and /slitwrist so I had to go to the only electronics store still open at 8:30 pm and buy one of the 4 power supplies they had in stock and replace it...

While dealing with all of this I was in the process of fixing another device that required extensive computer powaaaaaah so I had my laptop open running various thingamajigsthatwontbementioned and it crashed mid superimportant3hrthingamajigprocess...

I'm moving to a cave.
#2 Apr 24 2015 at 8:23 AM Rating: Excellent
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Huh, I just googled that and it turns out to be a 2007 movie.
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#3 Apr 24 2015 at 8:33 AM Rating: Good
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...that's when we met.
#4 Apr 24 2015 at 9:10 AM Rating: Excellent
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I'm going to vote that you're both retarded for (a) owning a ferret and (b) letting it roam across your table while you're not there to hit it with a cattle prod or whatever one does to keep a ferret out of their shit.
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#5 Apr 24 2015 at 9:17 AM Rating: Good
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It's her ferret, it's an evil creature and I'm pretty sure it's plotting my death.
#6 Apr 24 2015 at 10:20 AM Rating: Excellent
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Guinea Pigs are cuter and less likely to maul your finger; should run that idea by her. Though if you're moving to a cave I imagine the ferret will make a better guard animal.
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#7 Apr 24 2015 at 10:43 AM Rating: Excellent
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Guinea pigs spread plague and blame it on rats, though. So: also evil.

On the other hand you can put them in a plastic ball and let them roll around the floor, clonking into furniture, so that must be at least nominally amusing.

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#8 Apr 24 2015 at 11:31 AM Rating: Decent
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Ferret is actually pretty amusing, it's like having a half blind super playful mischievious toddler attacking your feet all of the time. I hate every second of it. I'm allergic to just about everything that evolved past rodents and some things prior to that so options are limited and Guinea pigs are on the "may send me to the hospital list".
#9 Apr 24 2015 at 11:34 AM Rating: Excellent
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With plague.
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#10 Apr 24 2015 at 11:35 AM Rating: Excellent
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Samira wrote:
Guinea pigs spread plague and blame it on rats, though. So: also evil.

On the other hand you can put them in a plastic ball and let them roll around the floor, clonking into furniture, so that must be at least nominally amusing.

Also you can eat them on a stick and it's more Peruvian cuisine than oubliette cuisine.
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#11 Apr 24 2015 at 11:55 AM Rating: Good
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I had a herd of guinea pigs as a kid, eight of them at peak cavy. Originally it was just the two of them, but they were both pregnant females when we bought them and things kind of spiraled out of control from there.

None of them ever gave anyone the plague.
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#12 Apr 24 2015 at 12:02 PM Rating: Good
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That happened to us twice in a two week period last year... First my wife dumps Pepsi on my laptop (completely by accident) completely destroying it. Then I dump Dr. Pepper on hers (I swear it was not revenge) but reacted quickly and turned it over before too much got through the keys. It was damaged-- the monitor displayed some really weird ghost like apparitions for a while, but it still worked, which is good because it was the only computer we had left.

So yeah. Totally been there. I am truely sorry for you lots.
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#13 Apr 24 2015 at 12:19 PM Rating: Excellent
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Kavekkk wrote:
I had a herd of guinea pigs as a kid, eight of them at peak cavy. Originally it was just the two of them, but they were both pregnant females when we bought them and things kind of spiraled out of control from there.

None of them ever gave anyone the plague.


Not for lack of trying, I feel sure.

The Peruvians have it right: eat the pestilent beasts before they can sicken you and everyone you love.
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#14 Apr 24 2015 at 12:34 PM Rating: Excellent
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The only thing guinea pigs are good for is food for my burmese python :)
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#15 Apr 24 2015 at 1:28 PM Rating: Good
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Yodabunny wrote:
Ferret is actually pretty amusing, it's like having a half blind super playful mischievious toddler attacking your feet all of the time.
They also sleep like twenty hours a day, so good pets for busy people.
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#16 Apr 24 2015 at 1:34 PM Rating: Excellent
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You know what else is a good pet for busy people? Goldfish. Or a nice dracaena.
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#17 Apr 24 2015 at 1:38 PM Rating: Decent
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He's always out running around the house, uses a litterbox. We put him away to eat every hour or so (they have to eat constantly.)

Easy to care for. Give em a bath every once in a while with special ferret soap cause he gets a bit pungent, related to skunks.
#18 Apr 24 2015 at 1:38 PM Rating: Good
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Goldfish aren't pets, they're appetizers.
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#19 Apr 24 2015 at 3:43 PM Rating: Good
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Samira wrote:
Kavekkk wrote:
I had a herd of guinea pigs as a kid, eight of them at peak cavy. Originally it was just the two of them, but they were both pregnant females when we bought them and things kind of spiraled out of control from there.

None of them ever gave anyone the plague.


Not for lack of trying, I feel sure.

The Peruvians have it right: eat the pestilent beasts before they can sicken you and everyone you love.


You are going to create a rift between your minion and yourself.
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#20 Apr 24 2015 at 3:43 PM Rating: Good
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Samira wrote:
Kavekkk wrote:
I had a herd of guinea pigs as a kid, eight of them at peak cavy. Originally it was just the two of them, but they were both pregnant females when we bought them and things kind of spiraled out of control from there.

None of them ever gave anyone the plague.


Not for lack of trying, I feel sure.

The Peruvians have it right: eat the pestilent beasts before they can sicken you and everyone you love.


Jophiel wrote:
You know what else is a good pet for busy people? Goldfish. Or a nice dracaena.


Get a snake.
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#21 Apr 24 2015 at 4:41 PM Rating: Decent
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Live in a mountain shack. Eat squirrel. Zero downtime.

My wife's various laptops always get stuff spilled on them - water, milk, beer, soda, etc. I've gotten very good at disassembling and cleaning out laptops; there's little I can't recover from (as long as it's caught in time).

Disassemblying? I don't English very well...

Edited, Apr 25th 2015 1:29pm by Debalic
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#22 Apr 25 2015 at 9:41 AM Rating: Good
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For Samira.
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#23 Apr 25 2015 at 11:58 AM Rating: Excellent
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OMG that's perfect! Guinea pigs are from China, you know. Originally.

Now I can warn them off in their own lingo.
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#24 Apr 27 2015 at 7:36 AM Rating: Good
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Debalic wrote:
Live in a mountain shack. Eat squirrel. Zero downtime.
Might make winter a little lean.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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