How much money... :: Final Fantasy XI

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#1 Mar 24 2016 at 2:52 PM Rating: Decent

Youshutup

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4,731 posts

would you charge to marry an islamic fundamentalist?

They don't suicide bomb anyone but they do go off to fight in Syria and die there after a year, so you get out then.

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#2 Mar 24 2016 at 3:07 PM Rating: Excellent

someproteinguy

Meat Popsicle

13,666 posts

So basically how much would I pay to have sex with someone else for 3 months?

What kind of things is she into?

Edited, Mar 24th 2016 2:07pm by someproteinguy

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That monster in the mirror, he just might be you. -Grover

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#3 Mar 24 2016 at 3:12 PM Rating: Decent

Youshutup

Scholar

4,731 posts

Not just 3 months a full year! She's into discipline, religious zeal, passive aggression, family gatherings, and cooking. She won't try and make you become a jihadist but you will have to convert and go to Mosque. The sex is non-existent, because she despises you, because you're not a jihadist.

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#4 Mar 24 2016 at 3:21 PM Rating: Excellent

someproteinguy

Meat Popsicle

13,666 posts

Youshutup wrote:

Not just 3 months a full year!

I assumed she'd bit there a bit, and wouldn't die right away.... but this works too.

Youshutup wrote:

She's into discipline, religious zeal, passive aggression, family gatherings, and cooking.

So basically hiring a nanny/maid for a year then?

Youshutup wrote:

She won't try and make you become a jihadist but you will have to convert and go to Mosque.

I'm willing to give it a shot.

Youshutup wrote:

The *** is non-existent, because she despises you, because you're not a jihadist.

Thought the religion didn't allow her to refuse most of the month? Smiley: wink

Anyway... we got kid #3 coming in a couple a months and having a second wife around to cook/clean/teach/etc. while the first one is laid up after surgery would be helpful. She's like a refugee that could be exploited or something right? Could probably swing room and board and maybe a little spending money on the side. Our couch is pretty comfy after all, and we have leftovers sometimes. Would make sure she had enough to buy herself a nice AK-47 and some ammo or similar. How much does a quality RPG cost these days?

Edited, Mar 24th 2016 2:48pm by someproteinguy

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That monster in the mirror, he just might be you. -Grover

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#5 Mar 24 2016 at 4:03 PM Rating: Decent

Youshutup

Scholar

4,731 posts

I'm really not sure about the small print here but yes I believe you could take her on as a second wife, and she will consent to sleep on the couch. She's going to need at least $1000 for flights to Syria but will find her own RPG once there, you have to do the full husband bit including prayer five times a day, mosque whenever she goes, no alcohol, and her family will sometimes end up staying with you and your wife and your nearly three kids as well.

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#6 Mar 24 2016 at 4:12 PM Rating: Excellent

Jophiel

View User Forum

Liberal Conspiracy

TILT

The last passive-aggressive woman* I lived with didn't cook, much less have the grace to go off and die in a foreign country. So I'm doing better than last time!

On the other hand, I'm pretty sure that having a jihadist wife would give me more government headaches than money could easily buy off. I'm going to have to pass. Ten million dollars is hard to spend in federal prison for aiding the terrorist enemy.

*Not my current spouse, of course, who I am ignoring for this thread in order to not fight the hypothetical

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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.

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#7 Mar 24 2016 at 4:16 PM Rating: Excellent

someproteinguy

Meat Popsicle

13,666 posts

Youshutup wrote:

I'm really not sure about the small print here but yes I believe you could take her on as a second wife, and she will consent to sleep on the couch.

That's a start, will work on the rest when she gets here.

Youshutup wrote:

She's going to need at least $1000 for flights to Syria but will find her own RPG once there,

What kind of crappy terrorists are these that she can't get them to pay for her flight? Smiley: disappointed

Well we'll be working to find her a better group of people to jihad with, that's for sure. No wife of mine is going to pay her own way.

Youshutup wrote:

you have to do the full husband bit including prayer five times a day, mosque whenever she goes,

Like I said, no problem trying new things...

Youshutup wrote:

no alcohol,

... oh right.

Well I might try and sneak a little Smiley: wink

, but that'd still probably be doable. Might have to take something out of her AK-47 fund though.

Youshutup wrote:

and her family will sometimes end up staying with you and your wife and your nearly three kids as well.

That could be a problem... we're not allowed to have more than 6 people staying here. Could probably find some open-minded friends for them to stay with though. There's lots of people in this town who like to pretend to be culturally enriched by stuff. Smiley: rolleyes