I knew having this prepared was going to pay off sooner than later.
George Carlin wrote:
But the politicians, god bless them or something like that, they are at their most entertaining when they are in trouble. When they are in trouble, their explanations usually began simply with words like miscommunication. What did you wrong Senator? Well, it was a miscommunication or I was quoted out of context, better yet and more ironic, they twisted my words. Such a nice touch, a person who routinely spends his days torturing the language complains, they twisted my words.
Then, as the controversy continues to heat up, he moves to his next level of complaint, the whole thing has been blown out of proportion. The whole, it’s always the whole thing, apparently, no one has never claimed that only a small portion of something was blown out of proportion. It has to be the whole thing, that’s because now he is feeling the heat. And so, as time passes and more evidence comes in, he suddenly changes directions and tells us, we are trying to get to the bottom of this, now he is on the side of law and orders, jujitsu, really.
We are trying to get to the bottom of this, so we can get the facts out to the American people that’s always a nice touch, American people. In fact, at this point, he might even say, I am willing to trust in the fairness of the American people. Clearly, he is preparing us for something.
And so, and finally all the facts comes out on our subject seems quite guilty, he employs that sublime use of the passive voice, mistakes were made. Mistakes were made, don’t look at me, probably someone in my office, things are moving faster now, mistakes were made is rapidly overtaken, but there is no evidence, no one has proven anything.
Eventually, I will be exonerated, I have faith in the American judicial system, and that certain sign that things are closing in, whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty, whatever happened, well now, yeah, well he is about to find out. And we know this must be true, because the next thing we hear from him is, I just want to put this thing behind me, and get on with my life. I just want to put this behind me, that’s an expression we hear a lot these days in all walks of life.
From people in all walks of life, usually the person in question has committed some unspeakable act, yes, it’s true, I strangled my wife, shot the triplets, set fire to the house and sold my young son to an old man on the train, but now I just want to put this thing behind. That’s the problem in this country, too many people are getting on with their lives. I think what we really need more of is ritual suicide, you know never mind the press conferences, get the big knife out of the drawer.
Personally, what I want to do is to put this, I want to put this thing behind me and get on with my life, thing behind me, and get on with my life. I’ll repeat that for you, personally I want to put, I want to put this, I want to put this thing behind me, and get on with my life, thing behind me and get on with my life. And just to round out this section, let’s hope there is a special place in hell reserved for those who have recently decided to take responsibility for their actions, that’s the big thing now, taking responsibility for your actions, like it’s a recent discovery, you know.
He is taking responsibility for his actions, well, isn’t that wonderful? Ask him, if he is willing to take responsibility for my actions, along with my alimony and my car payments, and my gambling debts.