So as I sit here with an overdrawn Visa, and $2.34 in my bank account, I have no question as to why I'm taking a small break from the fantasy world. Also, being that it's 1am, I work in 6 hours, my kitchen is flooding, and my birthday is 23 hours away, I have time to throw a little perspective into my life (and the water is currently being collected via a large white bucket). This is my first visit back to alla forums in a long time, and reading through the whitelist forums I came on a lot of names from the past. Good people who left for the real world (or WoW, but I digress) and I've lost touch with.
When I started this game I had no idea what I was getting into. My first true friends were Avara (Acaria) and Wiseman. Time and time again, these two people showed that ffxi was truly more than a video game. It gave me friends I never knew I would have. I remember the first time a taru told us our KO'd counts. Never knew it was possible to be so routinely massachred, but alas, Wiseman fell a few hundred short of me. (At last check I was approaching the 2000 mark). Avara became the best friend I'd ever had, and with her we helped others, explored all we could, and met amazing friends. That was the best experience this game has ever offered.
In time we grew apart, and the game began to change for me. I'd lived to help others. To offer my services however I could (I swear I've killed the shadowlord as rdm/nin a good 3 or 4 dozen times). I always seemed to have time to lend a hand, but recently I've been disappointed to say that's just not the case anymore. I dabbled in various end-game/sky/hnm ls' and it never seemed to feel like home. I started seeming to care more about getting gear than helping others. Then I met Kyafye. I'd never seen anyone so selflessly help others with nothing to ask in return. I made it a personal mission to do what I could for her. It was the closest I got to old times.
I'm well aware at this point that this post could be considered no more than a rant, but I promise I'll get somewhere with it. My debate for the past week has been 'do I return to Sylph. To FFXI?' Abandon something which has for lack of a better term envelloped me for the past 2 and a half years? I have no legacy to leave behind. I once could be proud in knowing that I did my best for others, but everything is different. I began working 10-15 hours a day, losing time and sleep, and drifting apart from others. The people I cared most about both in game and in real life were neglected. I had to make a choice.
I'll be back. But not as you remember me. Sure, I still want the maat's cap, and I'll still be in sky ******** about RMT camping U or how SE will never learn to get it right (hmm. Not enough people are getting autumnstones, so let's change it from 3 hours to up to 12 and infuriate everyone). I'm K4 until the day Del vanishes, even if I appear only rarely, but other than that, it's time to bring back the good times. If you see me around, and I'm not busy, send me a tell. Rank Missions, limits, quests, I'll help as best I can, even if it's just acting as a guide. Just don't ask for gil. I only have 13k >.> FFXI is more than just a game. If that weren't true I would have been gone long ago. There are many things that could never be accomplished without the help of others, so consider me one of them, and thank you. To all my friends. To all those that helped when nobody else would, and to those true friends I'll never meet again. My inspirations and my motivators, you may never know of my gratitude, but I wish you all well.
Best of luck to all of you and if you see me around, feel free to wave.
(I've never really been good at keeping things short. Truly sorry for that)
Edited, Sep 9th 2006 at 8:02pm EDT by LordoftheFruit