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Funny Noob Sayings Part IIFollow

#1 Aug 17 2006 at 11:36 AM Rating: Good
1,002 posts
Admin said they're locking that post because of size, but aren't deleting it. So here is the new "Funny Noob Sayings" Part II. Enjoy!

The Original Funny Noob Sayings.

Me: Hey SMN, try to Magic Burst Stone IV with Titan.
SMN: What's a Magic Burst?
Me: You're lvl 60 and you don't know what a magic burst is?
SMN: Never heard of it...
Me: Cast Stone IV with Titan as THF is using his Weaponskill
SMN: Why?
Me: Because you will have more DMG than just using Stone IV by itself that way.
SMN: {No Thanks.}

When I got Refresh I would use the F keys at the top of my keyboard to target party members. I wasn't used to paying so much attention to see who needed it, and after about 20 minutes the THF asked why I kept Refreshing him, and not the BLM. I wonder why the BLM keps saying {Refresh}{please} haha, oops.

Edited, Aug 20th 2006 at 7:34pm EDT by Seranos
#2 Aug 17 2006 at 11:45 AM Rating: Good
Haha I loved the Part 1 Noob Sayings thread! Glad it's continuing!

I partied in the Dunes last night. It was a pretty bad experience lol. whm/smn (party leader), blm/whm (me), nin/war, war, rdm, mnk/war. With the exception of the ninja, I think the other people know each other in real life. They were chatting SO MUCH, which I don't mind, except they were talking really immaturely. Not like the joking around in linkshell sort of thing; just really really immature stuff. In between every battle, they would chat a lot.

Anyway, that's not the newbie saying. It was the whm/smn that I found to be umm... funny.. haha... I noticed how he never cast any spells other than the Cures, not even the Bar spells.

whm: "Keep on pulling gobs"
me and nin: "WHM, Silence or Barfira, {Do you have it?} "
whm: (no response)
whm: "Keep on pulling gobs!" lol

And even better.. we found a Scroll of Paralyze on the Gob. Some of the newbies start lotting on it (rdm and war).

whm: "No one lot for it! I'm the whm! I should lot for it!"
~~ WHM cast lots for Scroll of Paralzye ~~
me and nin: "lol you already have the spell though. Why do you need it again" (since Paralyze is like a level 6 spell or something?)
whm: (no response)

~ 2 minutes later
WHM obtains a scroll of Paralyze!
WHM uses a scroll of Paralyze!!

And then whm starts casting paralyze from then on.. hahaha..
#3 Aug 18 2006 at 10:40 AM Rating: Good
1,485 posts
Don't let this thread die
#4 Aug 18 2006 at 10:54 AM Rating: Good
363 posts
Was fishing in Qufim when someone came up to me, examined me and said:

<RandomGuy>: /tell Poo..an earth staff (I had been wearing an earth staff at the time obviously.)
<RandomGuy>: /tell u shud be usin a dark or ice staff lol
<Me>: /tell ...
<RandomGuy>: /tell lol noob
<Me>: /tell ...
<RandomGuy>: /tell im a blm aswll i no stuf like this, im just levelin my sub
<Me>: /tell Your kidding right ? >.>

Proceeded to talk in /tell and I kindly showed him that we need all Ele Staffs, By Stone III a Nearby Clipper with and without an Earth Staff.

<RandomGuy>: o, i c
<RandomGuy>: cool, thx, i gotta go, c ya

I /waved goodbye and of he went >.>.
#5 Aug 18 2006 at 11:08 AM Rating: Good
I'll help keep it alive, a fun story I have from a fair while back:

A while ago I was with a friend in the Highlands farming sheepskins and keeping an eye out for Mary, anyway this low level guy my friend had been helping showed up.

He started following us around a bit and then asked it he could help us, being the nice guy I am I let him in. My friend warned me not too as the lad was completely oblivious to the game as a whole and was wearing exceptional gear for a level 2x first time through, so was probably a gil buyer.

Well, what were some of the outright.... uneducated things he did?

Ran around looking for leaping lizzy in the highlands as "she drops mad gilz", when we informed him she popped in South Gustaberg he said "yeah, but she also pops here too, I have seen here". I asked him if he meant Stray Mary, who were were keeping an eye out for.

He called us n00bs and told us we would die as Mary was a HNM... *I think he might have been thinking of Steelfleece.

My friend then pointed out that Lizzy now dropped a rare/ex version of the boots and he started mocking us saying that she also drops a normal version occasionally.

We let it drop, a bit later, he aggro's some bones and I cast Cure IV on them, he died before I could help him, I raise him and he starts yelling at me saying that Cure V causes unlimited damage to undead and that I should have cast that, unfortunately I was not high enough level for Cure V. I get called a n00b again.

At the end he wanted me to Warp him to his homepoint... I explain I can't because:

a: I'm WHM/THF right now
b: sub BLM cannot get Warp 2

He then calls me a n00b for having a gimp subjob, I am using /THF for TH for christ sakes >.<

Overall, quite an amusing evening. Personally, I think he had some high level friends and they had leant him equipment and was trying to pass himself off as experienced using things he had heard them talk about in LS Chat, just he made a hash of what he heard.

Lastly, one thats not n00bish, but strangely cowardish...

Someone was shouting for promyvions in Jeuno about a month ago, I team up to help. The lad somehow got 5 people who had already done them to help, a good setup and we were all well equipped. It was a somewhat model party.

We get to DEM to start getting ANIMA for our first run, enter promyvion and go through the gate into Promyvion Dem.

5 seconds in, this lad is running out. We ask where is was going, to which he exclaims "it's @#%^ing scary in here, sod this"



Edited, Aug 18th 2006 at 12:12pm EDT by RGSerge
#6 Aug 18 2006 at 12:37 PM Rating: Excellent
110 posts
Okay, this is a little embarrassing but I'm still a bit of a newbie (despite having a level 54 WHM) -- I raced through levels and I'm only just now starting to go back and get rank/fame, etc., etc., and there's a lot about the game I still don't know (even though I'm a sick healer; I know my job and my sub and that's about it. XD).

Anyway, last week, I get into a party that decides to go to Kuftal Tunnel to fight Robber Crabs (we're all 51-52ish but have a RDM for dispel so they all agree we should be okay). I'd never been there before, but that's normal for me -- seems every couple levels I go someplace new to level since this is my first push towards the top, etc.

We get there and find a camping spot (in the north tunnel right before where the Haunt spawns) and I buff every one up before peeking around the corner to get a look at the haunt (since undead are the only things I can reasonably solo, I just wanted to have a looksy). The problem doesn't come from the haunt, but the robber crab that was two feet away from me (my level 1-50 mentality = crabs don't aggro). I suddenly get smacked and spaz, not knowing what's attacking me, and run back to the party.

Me: WTFOMG Crab's aggro?!
(Rank 10) SMN: Of course they do, n00b, anything that comes up as IT++ is going to aggro you...
PLD tank: Rofl. ::Provoke.::
Party: ::Beats the crab down as I huddle in the corner willing regen to go faster 'cause I don't dare cure myself.::
#7 Aug 18 2006 at 12:51 PM Rating: Good
I was supposed to exp with friends on my 20 WAR later in the evening, so I decided to choco out to Konschtat to farm a bit and skill up marksmanship while I waited. So, I get to the highlands and I see a bee buzzing around, so I hop off my chocobo and proceed to plink it with bolts. At that moment I get a /tell from a WAR21:

Warrior21>> : wait wait can i hav ur bird?
>>Warrior21 : Um, it really doesn't work that way...
Warrior21 examines you.
Warrior21>> : lol i no. im hier lvl than u see?
Warrior21>> : how u got taht axe? u rich?!

I guess he likey my neckchopper. Anyway, we had a brief conversation, and I explained that this isn't my main job, blah blah. Time passes...

Warrior21>> : i bet ur rich. i be u have 1000000 gills
>>Warrior21 : I do okay for myself, but I'm not rich.

So now I think, ah, here comes the begging...

Warrior21>> : ok lol wel nice meting you. i gotta go kill mor bees so i can get a axe like urs!

Edited, Aug 18th 2006 at 1:56pm EDT by Mindel
#8 Aug 18 2006 at 3:33 PM Rating: Decent
29 posts
This happened a week or so ago while taking Monk thru Valkurm... >.< I can't consider myself an experienced player but Im certaintly not a total n00b
and I think I think higher of myself when I see these stories.

This is probably not excatly what happened, but Ill try my best....

WHM>> pty??
>>WHM: Ummmm...what is the party setup?
WHM>> huh??
>>WHM: What jobs are in it?
WHM>> o we got a whm blm war pld mnk and mnk
*I figure, w/e, lets give it a try, even though I think this is a newb and my /secom says "Noob {party} {No thanks}*
>>WHM: OK, {Please invite me}
WHM invites you to her party.
(Me) {Hello!}
(WHM) Hi
(PLD) {Hello!}
(WAR) yo
(MNK) hey
*I look and see the member list, they are all rank 1 but me (5) and PLD (4)*
(Me) *since the members are scattered* Where is camp?
(WHM) we camp where I am and kill lizards
(Me) ok
(WAR) ya lizards are good xp
*everyone eventually gets to camp =D*
*I proceed to /check everyone as I normally do. I notice the WAR has lv1 gear on...so I've got to back up tank...*
(PLD) so...Im tank and MNK is backup right?
(Me) yeah...Im sorry WAR..but you need some new gear...0.0
(WAR) didnt get gil
(Me) ...
(PLD) >.<
PLD>> God, I hate partys like this >.<
>>PLD: Yea, I know, especially when they are specifically banned in my /seacom.
PLD>> Yea, and the WHM has a lvl 3 WAR sj. She has as much MP as I do!
>>PLD: Are you kidding me?? I hadnt noticed
*I check and hes correct the WHM is elv to boot >.<*
*WAR pulls a VT liz using regular attack, I see him backing up as he is locked to it*
(Me) >.<
*PLD manages to get hate with voke just in time*
*WHM throws a cureII at the WAR, diminishing 24 of her 70 MP*
*PLD is at red, WHM cure IIs him*
*PLD goes red again, he heals himself and he is at ~100 when the WHM throws him another cureII diminsihing her MP and healing 40 HP >.<*
(WHM) no mps
*PLD cures himself till he runs out, I voke, WHM cure IIs me, PLD vokes, WHM wont cure him, he invincibles, my provoke isnt ready and he promplty dies and hps.*
(PLD) Why ddnt you cure me?
(WHM) you can cure urself u r a pld
(PLD) had no mp though!
(WHM) ya well tuogh luck dude
(PLD) then why didnt the war voke?
(Me) your supposed to cure us no matter what...
(WAR) voke??
PLD>> this pty is f**ckin uselss.
>>PLD: /agree
*PLD disbands, WHM invites a SAM. *
(Me) theres no tank.
(WHM) ya sam can
(Me) no. Im sorry but this isnt working.
/pcmd leave.
<<looks for group >.<

That's my story. Sad, isnt it >.<
#9 Aug 18 2006 at 4:30 PM Rating: Decent
1,002 posts
Rate up for getting all your Chat commands right distinguishing /tell from /party hahaha
#10 Aug 18 2006 at 4:47 PM Rating: Good

Short explanation.

Level 25-26 party in Kaz.

Me as WAR/MNK or NIN, WHM, THF, something else, and 2 other WAR. Both subbing MNK, it's fully leveled, blah blah it's all good.

Except... they're both switching between Great Sword and Scythe MID FIGHT and have no rings except Empress Band, no earrings, no back armor, level 10 armor, and one has a Warrior's Belt +1.

Their reason?

"I wan 2b drk lol"

I honestly thought this kind of mentality was made up... like a running joke, it never really happens - just something people say because it's kinda funny... then I experienced it first hand.

I seriously spent 20 minutes explaining weapons, weapon level caps, armor, weapon skills, skillchains and so on to them.

But after the WHM died for the second time because my voke timer wasn't up and the THF's SA wasn't ready (they told me I wasn't tank but they NEVER voked), me/THF/other guy left. Cue the above conversation...

... I haven't touched warrior since. I can't bring myself to do it.


Number two:

No explanation needed.

Edited, Aug 18th 2006 at 5:56pm EDT by therealfletcher
#11 Aug 18 2006 at 5:12 PM Rating: Decent
A few weeks ago a RNG friend hit lvl60 so with 64 woodworking I offer to make him some demon arrows.

After discussing a discounted price for him for each stack I went on to synth them up. After using all the materials I had sitting in my mog I had made 12 stacks of demon arrows and so I sent him another tell.

>RNG I have made 12 stacks how many of them do you want?
RNG> I only have space for 4 or 5 stacks
>RNG How about if I get them quivered for you?
RNG> Whats a quiver?
>RNG O.o

I explain quivers to him and agreed a fair price for all 12.

But I am still astounded by this as I know he has not bought his account and I don't know how he managed to get all those levels without buying quivers!

***Edited for spelling***

Edited, Aug 21st 2006 at 8:21pm EDT by FireweaverSiren
#12 Aug 19 2006 at 4:01 PM Rating: Decent
363 posts
2nd Page ? O.O

Definately needs this. *Bump*
#13 Aug 19 2006 at 5:06 PM Rating: Decent
200 posts
From a 20 some Red Mage in Qufim to me, 75 Red Mage after /check -ing me:

"I'll give you 150k for your Dark Staff."

..........................................................(and on.)
#14 Aug 19 2006 at 10:08 PM Rating: Decent
1,353 posts
"I'll give you 150k for your Dark Staff."
I'd have been like sweet deal. They go for like 100k on Hades server last I checked.

Yeahh.. to add to this, I heard a funny one from me a while ago: "SE only bans RMT and cheaters" I was so naive...

Edited, Oct 10th 2006 at 7:13pm PDT by TheShadowWalker
I will wake up at six a.m. again.
and I will find my way to the front door
like a soldier crawling through the smoking carnage.
smoldering bodies at my feet,
I'd love to stick around, but I've got someone to meet.
and I will put my best foot forward.
and I'll thank god I made it out of there
on the day when my new friends come.
#15 Aug 19 2006 at 11:45 PM Rating: Decent
Me DRK 41

Noob a level 12 WAR

Noob: *Is fighting a beetle too tough for him* Cure me! Cure me!

Me: *Is holding a great sword with /anon on* I can't I'm a Dark Knight.

Noob: DRKs can heal noob!

Me: *watches noob die who keeps begging me to heal him*
#16 Aug 19 2006 at 11:55 PM Rating: Default
Hahaha, this is awesome! I've been looking for a place to tell what I experienced in this morning's EXP pt.

So, I'm looking for PT as a WAR28. I get a /tell for a party in the jungles. I hop on the airship and get invited when I arrive in Kazham. It's a DRG/THF, SMN/BLM, BLM/WHM, BLM/WHM, WHM/BLM, and me, WAR/NIN. I was wondering about a second provoker, but didn't ask because I figured they were chaining and semi-manaburning, with the extra healing.

When I get to camp, the leader and SMN suggest moving to Yhoator Jungle. To make a long story short, the two BLM did not have their chocobo licenses yet. Now, in the year and a half I've been playing this game, taking multiple jobs through these levels, I've NEVER seen anyone past 20 without the chocobo license. I wasn't about to suggest powders - they probably can't afford them. So we stay in Yuhtunga.

After about 3 fights, I get killed by a nasty Goblin Rush. I then tell them I need someone to cast enfeebles (Slow, Paralyze, etc) and I need a second provoker for my shadows. I ask the leader if he can sub WAR. His repsonse?

"my WAR is 1"

/sigh. He offers to leave and get a replacement for himself. I say no, I'll leave, but they are all against that. The SMN offers to leave, and heal from the side since the leader was her friend. They invite a SAM/WAR in her place. As I'm resting while weakened, one of the BLM come up to me and /comfort. I notice they have no weapon, the male yukata, and no pants. I didn't check them - their lack of gear seen from the outside was enough. The other BLM had a level 1 Robe, slops and a staff. Curious, I turned on my filters to see the party's attacks.

The Taru was nuking for 40, 50, 60 points of damage with Thunder. The hume did even less. And they nuked a lot. No magic burst, even though I set one up for Impaction. Later, the WHM left and the SMN from earlier came back, subbing WHM this time.

The SAM and I worked well together, and we ended up getting some pretty decent EXP.

Later, the SAM left and they got a NIN. The NIN wanted to go to Yhoator and agreed to lead the PT by foot, killing goblins in our way. We approach two goblins close together, and we're too far from the zone. I state that if we're not careful, they'll link. The NIN asks if we have sleep in this PT. I remember we have two BLM, so I say that. My jaw dropped at the next few lines (paraphrasing):

TaruBLM: i dont have sleep
Me: ><
HumeBLM: no sleep sry
Me: Hmmm.

Holy ****. No gear, and not even keeping up with important spells? I was simply shocked. Not even angry or appalled, just SHOCKED. Even with my first job, WHM, I made damn sure to get every single spell as soon as I was the level to use them. Yes, even Aquaveil and Deodorize. The only spell I had to wait on was Erase. I finally acquired it somewhere between 50-53. I didn't say anything else in the PT, as they were nice people - just needed a lot of help with their gear and spells, and hate control. I left the PT as a 30WAR, thanked the leader and PT politely and warped out, but couldn't help and laugh at what I saw from the two BLM.

- I get those tells asking for gil on both my main and my mules. Yes, my MULES get tells for gil, and they wear next to nothing.

- On the same WAR, but as a level 19 in the Dunes, I get asked to PT. Short lived, but they had a PL. The PL offered to Teleport people to La Thiene so they can run to San d'Oria. He teleports, and only after I arrive at the crag crystal do I realize one of the members who were begging for a Teleport was still in Valkurm. They didn't have the crystal. XD I disbanded before seeing anything else, but I lol'd. I soloed to 20 and rode a chocobo out to Sandy to change jobs and warp later.

- I remember this noob a LONG time ago, while I was on my WHM in AF. He stalked me, kept checking me and wanted the rings I was wearing. I think it was an ether ring or something. He offered 60k for it, and claimed it was for his brother. I laughed in his face and blisted him.
#17 Aug 20 2006 at 1:37 AM Rating: Decent
2,801 posts
I'm running around in Gusgen trying to help randoms get a skull. At this point, I'd been doing it for about an hour and had finally run out of people to help. I give one more shout asking if anyone needs help getting a skull. No answer.

So, I do a quick /sea. There's an 18 Whm with no sub still in Gusgen. Huh, maybe he just didn't hear my shout. I send him a quick tell asking him if he's looking for a skull and if he'd like some help.

Him: Nope, I'm gonna solo it.
Me: Uh, you might have some trouble with that. Its pretty easy for me to kill them and it'll save you some time.
Him: No, I'm good.
Me: Well, these are pretty tough. You're really sure you don't want any help?
Him: Nope, I'll solo them.

I go to the entrance and sit down. I wait about 3 minutes before getting a tell from him.

Him: Uh, is that offer still good?
Me: Sure.
Him: Could you Raise me too? These things are HARD!
#18 Aug 20 2006 at 5:35 AM Rating: Good
86 posts
i remember when my cousin started playing, i was at his house telling him everything he needs to know. I step away for a minute to use the restroom and come and see him yelling at someone in /say asking for help. In the end, he didnt get any help and ended up calling the person a n00b. I ask him "Brian, who were you yelling at?" he points at his screen to the person he was yelling at.

It was the Five of Diamonds NPC in Windurst.

Had a Nice LOOOOOOONG talk about NPCs after that one :P

EDIT: I remember one of my n00b moments. I was lvling in east sarutabaruta, and i finished up. I was at that lake by the woods entrancce that has like the hook shape thing

kinda like that. Couldnt get back to windy, had to ask directions from a 45PLD lol

Edited, Aug 20th 2006 at 6:43am EDT by crispo
#19 Aug 20 2006 at 2:32 PM Rating: Decent
718 posts
To the OP: If the SMN was lvl 60 why did you tell him to use Stone II, when Titan has Stone IV by this level?
Samurai- 75
Black Mage- 75
#20 Aug 20 2006 at 3:17 PM Rating: Decent
116 posts
#21 Aug 20 2006 at 4:03 PM Rating: Good
44 posts
Won't go telling the whole story, my screenshots will pretty much tell you what happened. But a little back info...

I'm leveling one of my mules and is currently lvl 14 BLM with no subjob, yet. I'm just leaving Sandy to head to the dunes and I get this random tell from a lvl 9 MNK, Rank 1 and no sub...


Edited for grammar

Edited, Aug 20th 2006 at 5:09pm EDT by DarkenGX

Edited, Aug 20th 2006 at 5:05pm EDT by DarkenGX
#22 Aug 20 2006 at 4:44 PM Rating: Excellent
2,705 posts
<Warrior> Lv15 War/mnk lfg!
<Ternaldo> LoL Go Sub Nin U Noob!
#23 Aug 20 2006 at 6:28 PM Rating: Default
1,002 posts
SummonerVivel wrote:
To the OP: If the SMN was lvl 60 why did you tell him to use Stone II, when Titan has Stone IV by this level?

Fixed. (I don't even have it unlocked, so I don't actually know the spells they get off the top of my head.)
#24 Aug 20 2006 at 6:55 PM Rating: Decent
6,580 posts
West Ronfaur. Leveling Bst. BST6/WHM3
Warrior running around WAR5, no sub, Lv1 RSE, Scyth.
I charm a mob he was apparantly going to attack.
war: i hope u die

#25 Aug 20 2006 at 9:45 PM Rating: Decent
I got one:
Level 14 is pretty low for a sub job isn't it Geo? You should of waited longer before getting one.
#26 Aug 21 2006 at 4:29 AM Rating: Good
I remember when I was a lv 7 thf, no sub. I had teamed up with a whm, same level, who had also just started the game.

After a few successful fights, we take on a mob that turned out to be a bit tougher than I expected. Added to a mob that was too tough, came the problem of me not getting the cures I needed. So though the whm had mp left, it didn’t do me no good and I died. He apologized though. Because I kept running around the mob, he couldn’t click me to target his cures…

Always brings a smile to my face. The melee frantically running around the mob (I was convinced he missed me more often when I did that), the whm using his mouse to target the cures. How noob:)
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