Funny Noob Sayings Part IIFollow

I only hope my friends don't kill me for posting these.


1) "It's only a rabbit."

2) "How do I strafe?"

3) "It's only a sheep."

4) "Hey, I bought these awesome claws but I can't use them."
"Level 30? Where does it say that?"
"No, I didn't change my job, I'm still playing WHM... why do you ask?"

5) "Can you come raise me? I'm in that cave you told me to stay away from."
"What's this eco quest thing, anyway?"

6) "The stupid question mark is finally gone but now I've got a black circle... Will the colors change as I level?"

7) "It was only incredibly tough..."

8) "Can you come raise me? I'm in the forest."
"Not that forest.. the other one. The one with the tigers."
(said at level 6)







Edited, Sep 1st 2006 at 1:33am EDT by Lukoi

I have a solution for you.
Make a macro that goes like this.
Line1: /a <bt> (skip this line if you want to manually engage)
Line2: /ta <bt> (this line to make sure you target the pull mob in case mob too far to engage)

Hit that macro every time your puller come back to PT .. You will never have to tab through 10 mobs to get target pulled mob or voking a wrong mob again.

/bump

I was leveling Black Mage and had just got back from a short lived Crawler's Nest party. The tank disconnected and we couldn't find a replacement, so I warped back to Jeuno. With signet up, I didn't want to waste much time looking for a new party, so I went to my Mog House with the intent on changing to White Mage. My White Mage level was 5 or so levels ahead of my Black Mage level, so I figured I'd start a party and see if there was any tanks seeking at that level range. Before I could change jobs, however, I got a /tell for a party and accepted the invite. If I remember correctly the party set up was BLM (me), DRK, SAM, and THF (leader).

(Me) {Um...} Do you have a tank coming?
(Me) My last party had to break up because there was no tank seeking at this level range.
(Leader) We have a tank, yes?

I was hoping she meant a tank was on the way, so I waited to see whom the last members would be. Next invite was a WHM. At least we have a healer, I thought to myself. I waited. I waited. The last party member that joined was a PUP/BLU. >.<

(Me) {Um...} Who's the tank?

Everyone disbanded.

LMAO!! Man this thread is awsome and funny as hell. Its so funny that noobs are on every damn day even at higher lvls. Now I can understand if you havent done something and need help, but to ask dumb questions about the job you are using is just ridiculas.

Ok this past weekend is a perfect example.

I was shouting for help doing a BCNM 40 Under Observation the BCNM with the three blobs. Ive done this thing 3 times already and didnt get anything not a single drop, so i figured that id try it out again. After about an hour I finally got someone to respond. I asked for RDM/NIN or NIN/RDM ok. I got a lvl 70 RDM and a lvl 60ish. Ok finally after about another hour the other two guys were rdy. After taking so damn long I was already slightly irritated. We get to sandy and Im expaling what to do. Ok everyone knows that In this BCNM 40, you cannot face the mob otherwise it petrifies you and then starts going to work, unleashing every spell it knows.

Ok as im finishing up on explaing the rest of the objectives...

Me: "ok you can not under any circumstances look at the mob"
RDM1 "why not?"
Me: "Because it will petrify you".
RDM1 "How come?"
Me: "man I dont know, just dont turn around or it will cast petrify." Just turn your back and put up stoneskin, utsetsumi, and whatever to survive and kill it with spells and ninja tools."
RDM1: "Ok but I still dont understand why I cant fight it face to face."
Me: "...."
RDM1: "What spells should I use?"
Me: "...."

RDM1: "Can I bring swords?"
Me: "WTF did i just get finish saying."
RDM1 "You said dont fight if face to face." "You never said I couldnt bring swords."
Me: "Dude if someone told you to go and fight Medusa and you knew that if you look at her your dead, turned to stone." "would you face her anyway?"
RDM1: "No"
Me: "Ok then!" "Damn man you making this too difficult."
RDM1 "sorry" "Should I bring staves with INT and MND stats."
Me: "Yeah sure."
RDM1: "Can I fight it at an angle that way I can use my swords.
Me: "Maybe we shouldnt do this."
RDM1: "No im sorry."
Me: "Its cool"
RDM1: "What kind of food should I eat?"
Me: "Whatever food you eat to enhance magic"
RDM1: "What kind of food then?" "The best kind or the cheap kind?"
Me: "The best kind always works well"
RDM1: "Are you sure because Im thinking I should get STR and AGI?"
ME: "WTF do you mean am I sure? Man I dont care what foods you eat, I dont care if the game goes into a friggin CS and shows you having a picnic!! Just get the food I said to get!"
RDM1: "What type did you say? and is there any food that gives a cutscene?"
Me: "...." "The best man!!"
RDM1: "That would be cool."
Me: "...."
RDM1: " "why are you not talking?"
Me: "I was just getting rdy for battle"

(I was writing down add him to blackist)

**Notice that RDM2 didnt say anything.**

Obviously they didnt make the rdm booklet thick enough. They should make a bible called. The guide of going from an Ex noob to the great adventure of Vanadiel.

The sad part is that That Rdm1 did really really good. Rdm2 F%^# mage messed up twice. On the first battle he casted Dia. Not Dia 2, not Diaga, mother F$%#*n Dia.

Me: "What happend man."
Rdm2: "It didnt have hate on me. I dont know what happend."
Me: "What spell did you use.
Rdm2: Dia"
Me: "...."
On the second battle as i was running I looked behind me and noticed that he was down the hill with me.

I zoned because the RDM1 killed his mob and got hate but was quickly dropped by the two mobs. I could get there fast enough so i zoned.

Me: "WTF are you doing?"
Rdm2: "I dont know"

I didnt add the RDM1 to Blacklist but i added RDM2.

I really think that some of these people are buyig their accounts from people who get tired of playing. after that battle two times in a row, I was almost daring myself to see if my hardrive and Ps2 could float.
Or they know about it but are playing dumb. I think he might have been messing with me.

man somtimes this game is too much...

Questing with a noob

Ok i just finished getting the Dem scroll from Garbage sh*tadel. How much i hate that place when noobs are invovled.

Me: 66 PLD/RDM
P1: 48 Whm/Blm
P2: 42 RDM/BLM

Ok it was 3 of us. We were planning and reading up on the Dem quest or rather i was.
I said one thing and all of a sudden im a noob.

Me: "Ok so, does the question mark have a respwan time?"
Player2: "OMG did you buy your character?"
Player1: "LOL" "probably did."
Me: >< "WTF?"

Ok guys how in the H.E double hockey sticks am I a noob for asking this question?

Me: " Ok man, whatever. Lets just get this over with.
P1: "LOL"
P2" ROFL"

Notice P2 is histarically laughing right.

Ok so we get to GC.

The Whm (P1) got there ahead of us. P2 and myself were closing in on his position. P1 got the ???? at (H-8) and imediately warped out.

Me: "Damn man, arent you gonna help the Rdm."
P1: "Oh my bad"
Me: man thats lame seeing that you were the one who invited him and told him you would help."
P1: "I know want me to come back?"
**Note**
He was all the way in Whitegate.

P1: you can find the ???? easily.
Me: i am not worried about finding it. i just want to make sure he gets it too."
P1: Its in the room I was just in.
Me: Im in the room you were in and its not here.
P1: "Well you just arent looking right."
Me: " I scanned the whole room and nothing. I asked you if it respawns."
P1: "It should be there.

Ok here is where the funny part starts.

P2: "Where are you?"
Me: "Im here."
P2: "Where?"
Me: "Check your map"
***Note***
this is funny as hell!!!

P2: "I cant because i have invis on.
Me: "WTH does invis have to do with you checking your map?"
P2: "I dont know im lost!!"
Me: "Do you have a map?"
P2: "Yes"
Me: "Then use it!!"

After that I noticed that he got aggro i tried to get to him but he was already dead.

Me: "Man why did you wonder off from the room we were in?"
P2: "I dont know"
Me: "...."
P2: ok dont raise me yet ok, ill get killed again.
Me: "Really? cause I didnt notice that I had to kill the three skeletons and the bats in the room that you are in and are higher lvls than you."
Me: "Ill brb"
Me: ???? "Found it?" (H-8) It respawned.
P2: "Man that sucks"
Me: "Dont worry ill help you get it.
P2: "Ok but dont raise me."
Me: "Damn man I know"

So check this out. I got to him and gave him raise. Just as i was about to tell him to wait he raises and immdiately getting aggro afetr a few seconds hes dead.

P2: "Man I thought I told you not to raise me!!!"
Me: "WTF!! I gave you raise I didnt tell you to get up!!"
PS: "Well you still raise me!:
Me: "...."
P2: Thats it your a noob and im not asking you for help again!!
Me: "Man i was helping you with free will."

he then Hp'd and left party.

I was feeling bad at first because he didnt get his ???? but after that I didnt care, cause I got mine LMAO!!!

Edited, Sep 5th 2006 at 2:45am EDT by Ennoyvl

I'll start with mine first.

I'm guilty of some of the usual, but they've been posted repeatedly so I'll spare you those. My biggest momments though make me feel stupid but here goes.

My first job in the dunes was WAR. I was in dunes with 2 friends and we were trying to set up a party. 1 of them makes friends with a goblin. Long time ago so i dont remember who said what but it went something like this.

Friend1: Oops
Friend2: Zone!!
Me: ???

I had no idea what they meant by zone so I just stood there. Goblin buddy comes back and I play ring around the rock with him until 1 of them came back and told me to follow them. I then learn in Selbina what zoning means...i felt so stupid.


I was doing quests in Sandy. Get the one for a revival root. I thought Spook was the only way to get one. So im waiting for night to fall and I was the only one there. Someone else shows up right before he pops and gets claim. I flipped out on the poor guy cause I was there first, but he invited me and told me he'd invite me and i could have the root if it dropped.

A few days later I learn the whole NM camping thing and what spook drops. I felt like such an *** after my friend explained it.

Those were the worst I remember. *Hides in the corner*


These 2 are more scary than funny, but they've bugged me since because of the level they happend. Anyway, they were both in Bibiki Bay.

Should've expected this from a blind invite at 65...
Fighting Dhamels..

PLD: hit me with defense down..need erase
WHM: I don't have erase. Wasn't paying 500k for it.
ME: at your lvl you really should have it
WHM: I'm not paying that much
ME: um...try being a BLM and getting through the 50s and the 2 spells I need yet will take me well over 1 mil
WHM: then you can go buy it for me
ME: ....

During all this our smn is carby pulling, but our PLD won't wait for it to come back and runs out and vokes. He keeps getting out further and all of a sudden we get goblin aggro. WHM benedictions, he dies and we finally kill the aggro...and it's pet.

ME: we need to fight back here
SMN: yeah, wait til I pull it all th way before you voke it
PLD: why?
SMN: ...
ME: um...because of what just happened
WHM: you get to close to the gobs
PLD: ok

Next pull he does the exact same thing. We got about 2 more aggros before we disbanded with me 2k tnl.


Completely different party:

SAM uses meditate.
63 DRG: What's meditate do?



Those last 2 just scare me at those lvls.

This thread made me remember my first week playing about 3 years ago now. I was a level 7 warrior and got my first ever party invite. I accepted, and it was a full party of level 7's. The leader said to follow him, so we did. On the way to our "Camp" site, he kept going on and on about how cool his dragon looked (DRG I guess), and that he was going to go show us all after our party was over. Well to make a long story short, we ended up camping in Fort Ghelsba on the upper island near Warchief Vangit. Yeah, we died pretty quickly. After the leader died he called us all noobs and left the party.

I just thought there were 5-6 noobish elements to that entire story.

SAM makes a fine tank in the dunes. Really any /war job can tank through there no problem. SAM is actually not a bad tank at all in the dunes 15+

/bump

/bump