Friar Bijou wrote:
I've been here ever since (not living there, man...working there). Find something worthwhile to you and do that. Even if you start as a volunteer, do it. Get out of your own head and do something for someone else.
I was in the shower just now, and I thought about this.
It occurred to me that I'm never happy unless I'm making someone else happy, or helping someone else in some way or another. --whether it be something like helping them to move furniture, or writing a paper. When I was running my server, it was a thousand times easier for me to help someone else with theirs than it was to work on my own, for myself, even when they were the competition. It was also on the server that I realized: The best of times are when I'm talking to people, offering the best advice I can, and helping them work out the problems they're having by helping them see things from different angles.
I touched on this a bit in a thread I made about two years ago regarding an online friend I had become particularly connected with. That thread had become a back and forth argument over whether or not it was appropriate considering my friend's age, who was 11 at the time (and yes, I still talk to her.) At the time I thought perhaps I could not relate to people my own age, and some suggested I seek out jobs working with children. Then came Pokemon Go, and suddenly I found myself completely surrounded by literally hundreds of adults with similar with similar interests and mindsets to my own, not a single one more than a year or two younger than myself-- of which I would have never known existed without the game. I was never interested in working with kids, but because of the individual, my friend Red-- it became an issue of age. In reality, she could have been 24, or 37, or 115 when I met her, and the outcome would have been the same, only less dramatic and awkward. Talking to her, and helping her come to terms with her many life problems, and being there for her where there is no one else, making her laugh-- it is my greatest happiness. I feel validated. I feel needed.
Now I find myself in the midst of one of many occasional periods where I am not needed so much, and in her absence, I have had time to think about all of this. I have befriended other people, adults, via the local Pokemon Go community. --and I have found myself interacting with them in very much the same way. We will go out raiding gyms around town, or play League of Legends online together, and they will talk to me about their personal problems, and I do my best to help them. I don't feel needed by them nearly as much as I do with Red, but it's something.
So now I'm thinking, maybe I should pursue an education in psychology. Then I can help people more effectively, and on a professional level, and make a meaningful career out of it. I don't know where I'll go from there, exactly.