Funny Noob Sayings. ^_^Follow

Ok unfortunately i don't know any of these funny noob sayings off the top of my head, but just recently i have had a couple Noob like problems, even though i dont consider myself a noob by any means. Anyway i was working on crafting, so i wanted to buy some fire crystals, and big 1.7k for (what i thought) was a stack of fire crystals, but then i realized that i didnt pay 1.7k for a stack, but for an individual crystal!

Now i got a good laugh off of this, i wasn't too angry i try to keep my cool about little things like that, but then RIGHT after i try to buy another stack of fire crystals and SUPRISE SUPRISE! i pay 1.7k for another individual fire crystal! That one actually made me angry, and i noticed they were both put on sale by the same person (afterwards i PM'ed her and told her that she was mighty lucky for a noob).

My experiences with the Revival Root:

So me and my friend ( whm ) decides to go and do a 2-man PT. WHM and WAR. We were lvl 10 or something and head to wadi.

*at the AH*

Me: yo, rmember how we died last time in gusta?
Friend: yea that was scary shiz
Me: lets get some Revival Roots to revive. That should be awesome.
Friend: Good idea!
* buys some *
Me: Ok i got 3 roots
Friend: i got a couple too. Lets go!
* walks to wadi *
* xp'ing mobs and whatnot *
Me: damn this is good xp! 60 xp a kill! (lol)
Friend: yeah i know
Me: ****! GOB!!run run run!
* goblin butcher running after us *
Friend: Run dude!
* friend gets chooped down *
* but it doesnt come after me, cuz it aggrod him *
Me: revival root! dont go to HP yet!
Me: rats, cant get to you man. Gob is too close
Friend: k i wait
* gob goes away after a couple minutes *
Me: cheer! ok lets revive u
Me: wth? doesnt work
* tried trading it to him *
* tried using it on him *
* tried throwing it away hoping it would land on him *
Me: godamn.. there has to be a way to work this.
* random person walks by *
/t Randomperson1 >> Hey how do I use a revival root?
randomperson1 >> You dont.
Me: wow. that guy was rude.
Friend: damn dude. i'll just go to HP. have to sleep now anyway
Me: k. thanks for the PT man
Friend: Same here, cya tomorow.
Me: k. i"ll figure this thing out

lol. I was a noob back then

For whatever reason, I usually have pretty good skill/luck putting together working parties. Often I find that people just hand me Party Leader as soon as we lose someone because I can find people faster than they can. So last night, leveling my pitiful THF in the Dunes, I was handed leader of a party that was down two people. But we had two WHM, so I had no intention of letting the partie die. I filled one spot with some badly-needed nuking, and we had back-up provoke. Problem was we lacked a main tank, since our PLD left. Sadly, the options were slim. Our levels were all between 11-13. The things in {brackets} are my own observations.

Me: Okay I can get a NIN13/WAR06 {Rank6}
Noob: no we need tank {this from a WHM11, no sub, Rank1}
Me: The NIN can blinktank, I already asked her if he has powder.
Noob: no we need TANK
Me: Yes, I am aware of that.
Noob: Get Warriortool WAR11 {Rank1, no sub}
Me: As our primary tank? That seems like a bad idea.
Ninja: speak japanese ok?
Me: |Yes.|
Noob: ninja what your def?
Noob: ninja what your def?
Noob: ninja what your def?
Noob: ninja what your def?
Me: She only speaks Japanese. She knows what she is doing.
Noob: we need tank
Me: Just do a fight or two, we will be fine. She is going to BLINKTANK.
Noob: k whatever
Ninja: Goblin Butcher |Japanese Kana| k?
Me: |Yes.|
Noob: we need tank

Now, granted, the noob had probably never seen blinktanking before. But he was also was very damn sure he knew better than a Rank4 and a Rank6, both with advanced jobs. Needless to say, the NIN came in and not only blinktanked perfectly, but probably outdamaged everyone but the BLM.

I honestly considered bumping the Noob, but he was one of the WHMs and once he saw how the fights went he simmered down. It's a good thing that the NIN didn't speak much English or she probably would have left. :P

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Here's a quickie I just remembered. A little after the PS2 invasion, I was sitting around in town, especially bored because my partymate had to go eat dinner and there was nothing I had to do that would take less than 20 minutes in game. So I hung out hear the AH, did some shopping, that sort of thing. Feeling particularly sorry for some of the new people (who were likely suffering from the same sort of instruction manual detail deficit that I first encountered), I decided to start answering questions from low level players.

BLM: how do i use magic
Me: You have to go into your list of spells. The easiest way is to press CTRL-M on your keyboard.
BLM: ok thx!
BLM: theres no spells in there
Me: You don't just earn them from leveling. You have to buy scrolls to learn them.
BLM: i know i bought scrolls
Me: Okay, did you actually USE the scroll? Like in your inventory?
BLM: lol no i dont want to cast magic in town i want to cast on monsters
Me: Right, but you have to use the scroll to learn the spell. Then you can cast it whenever you want to.
BLM: . . .
Me: Do you understand?
BLM: . . .
BLM: so u use it once n then its in that list?
Me: Right!
(I see the BLM in question learn a spell, either Stone or Poison, I forget which.)
BLM: f**k
BLM (shout): ne1 want to buy some scrolls?

Edited, Wed May 26 12:15:58 2004 by adennak

This really isn't newbie, but just a dumb mistake...

In my static party last night, we went to Yhoator Jungle to buff us up for Altepa at 33-36ish, and we were just finishing off a mandy when our DRG suddenly disappears. A few seconds later, we get a msg over party chat:

DRG: "Oh, sh**."
Us: "What happened?"
DRG: "I just ate my Warp Scroll."


He meant to use a mithkabob. Hehe, we aren't ever gonna let him live that down, either.

I wish there were some way to put it on my Bazaar (for 99,999,999) so that I can't accidentally click on it. I have AMOST done so a few times. :P

I'd just like to say we are all newbs at some point because we're all mistake prone. Newb is the human condition.

As a preface I would like to give a bit of biographical information about myself before I relate my misadventures. My name is Silfana (not my real name btw), I'm a elvaan female, 20 years old in real life , from Windurst on the world of Titan. My job is white mage level 44/blackmage27 at the moment. Being a white mage I have learned to be very patient with people.

Now onto my misadventures.

***Day 1***
Me: Danny why can't I move? (Dan is my boyfriend, we share the same computer)
Dan: Read the manual.
Me: I'm too lazy.... (2 mins later) all I do is spin around.
Dan: I figured it out by myself you can too.
Me: How do I talk, this isn't like D2.
Dan: (Laughs) You can figure it out.
5 frustrated minutes later. Dan gives a brief explanation.
Me: Yaay I can do things!

Random Yagudo: Greetings new traveler, I have come to initiate you into the roll of adventurer.
Me: Hey, I'm cool, I'm killing a cute little bunny.
Silfana takes 15 damage.
Me: Ahhhh why did you hit me, I'm dying.
Random Yagudo: That's my job.
Silfana has been defeated.
Dan: You should try checking monsters first.
Me: How? Oh duh. Wow this is cool. Thx.
Dan: Try using benediction.
Me: Wow thx you saved my life. That was Neat. (a few minutes later) Why can't I benediction again.
Dan: It will be awhile.

Later...
Me: What am I supposed to do with this Adventuring coupon. Cries. I don't understand this town I'm so confused.

A kind stranger explains the dynamics for me, I walk away enlightened.

A few days later, partied.
O: (don't wanna use this persons full name) Find me using the markers.
Silfana puts a marker on the map and names it. Still can't find her friend.
Also she makes the same mistake most people do to begin with. She sells silk to the NPC's and later laments when she knows better. At the time however she didnt understand the Auction House. Also she gives 3 silks to the crawler culler lady. This is the lament of all enlightened from noob experience.

A few days later in partied Tahrongi canyon. Dhamel hits dhamel.
Me: Wtf?!!! (has never heard of beastmaster) A dhamel is hitting another dhamel. (feels sheepish when its expplained).
Later. Me again: That ghost reads as easy prey lets hit it.
Party: No no no. Crap you're aggroed. (death to all)

A week later Valkurm:
ME: I'm sooo lost where are you guys. I'm trapped by goblins and ghoul but I'm safe. (much frustration 30 mins later I get a map (woo).
Silfana was defeated by the valkurm emperor. >.> flies don't aggro?

Qufim: That dancing weapon looks cool.... oh im dead. Thanks for the warning guys.
A few days later level 25.
Noob: Theres a tremor ram here! Kill it, it drops good stuff!
thinks ok.
Tremor Ram: Hello young white mage I have a very special ability. It drops your hps and mp to newb levels. But your at full life so you just wasted your cure and the last of your mp. By the way, welcome to the after life. (squish)

Skips ahead a long ways having come a long ways and experience making her wiser. Now having rank 4, almost max fame, and the ability to Telewhore I mean teleport she goes to craig of dem to go do something (shrugs) in Bastok. Walks over the beautiful hills of the Konschat Highlands proud to be lvl 41 and be alive. Suddenly she crests a hill and meets Steelfleece Baldrich nose to nose.

Steelfleece Baldrich: High level artifact gear tastes good. I'm so full from munching on delicious meat. I've crushed some many of those two legs and they taste good.
Me: Blah blah blah (on the phone with Danny) (crests the hill, heart attack) Omg I am sooo dead.
Dan: Why?
Me: (hyperventilating) Huge Sheep... Steel fleece... Baldrich... right in front of me... five feet away... cries... omg the ground is shaking.
Dan: really that is so cool! sucks to die though.
SB: Munch munch munch, grass tastes good.
Me: (backs away slowly) I live! He didn't aggro me. How strange!!! (invis, sneak, deoderize.) Wow now I really am standing nose to nose with him. Gosh he's huge. No wonder he crushed you Dan (laughs).
Dan: Take a screencap.
Me: Great idea! (does that from different angles) SB is such a ham!
Me: I'm so happy to be alive now to get out of this death zone.


One more thing, my boyfriend bought a rabbit charm from the auction house for 1k promptly sold it for over 100k.

While exping in Yhoator I ate a Bird Egg instead of a mithkabob by accident. I was not the most effective meleer in the world until it wore off.

I gotta say, I almost died laughing at work when I read about the Dragoon eating his Warp Scroll :P

I was wandering through W Ronfaure as a 10 RdM/5BlM. I get about 9 examines in 5 minutes (not the same people). I don't have a bazaar.

Lol, can't blame them though. I used to examine everyone with pretty armor (first time i saw drg AF i was like "... whoa...Purple.") when I was about lvl 10, till people started slapping me ><.

One for me, and one for my brother.

I was leveling my Red Mage in the maze, hit level 15 and used my scroll of Diaga. Worms are weak to light, and if Dia is good, Diaga must be better. Riiiiiigt. I think every bat in Shakrahmi was on me in 4 seconds fast, and I learned what the suffix -aga meant.

----

And my brother, the other night. Not exactly a noob story, but funny, nonetheless.

He's leveling his black mage in the Crawler's Nest, and suddenly sees a "X's throwing skills rise 0.1" flash across his screen. A moment later, his party hears the mournful wail, "My Happy Egg......." Dratted CTR+R.

I never understood why people make fun of newbs. B4 FFXI i never played a roleplaying game. Luckily for me a I got a ton of help from a member of my clan in socom2, who had been playing it for months. I had a newb experience 2 days ago, i spent a half hour helping someone (who just decided to send me a tell) get his friend online using ps2 with dial up. At first I was like the nerve of this guy, but I kept it to myself and when i was finished he rewarded me with 2 Quad Backplates and 99 crossbow bolts. So srry for being corny ,but help and dont hate.

ok this is how it goes. in lower jueno next to the AH

ls member: /shout ANYONE KNOW ABOUT THE BARBAQUE QUEST!!!

random player: /shout WHAT QUEST IS THAT???!!!

ls member: /shout IT'S THE QUEST WHERE I SLAP MY MEAT ON YOUR GRILL!!!

every player in range: /shout LOL



just thought you would get a kick out of that one ^^

so i was walkink through wron and i saw a lvl 8 mnk with no subjob fighting, i thought i would help him a bit since i was in a good mood so i stoped and cured him...
<me> cure 1 <dood>
<dood> **** off
<me> hey i was just trying to help :P
<dood> i dont need a whm help im going to solo to 75 as a drg
<me> what about when you need help getting the adv job at lvl 30?
<dood> ill solo it
<me> what about when you want to get rank 3 and above?
<dood> ill solo it now **** off
<me> *laugh*
<dood> &^&$%*#%&# #%^#$^# <== naughty words
<me> woah man your going to get a wakeup call when your getting 2 xp a kill
<dood> ill like it
<me> even when you have 6k to the next level?
<dood> stfu (except not in abv)
<me> blist add <dood>
i lost my temper about there, but i did give him prot before i left him alone ^^

Maybe you want to remember who he is and unblist him later to see what lvl he is :P and ask him how's soloing to lvl 75 going? :P