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Funny Noob Sayings. ^_^Follow

#202 May 10 2004 at 9:38 AM Rating: Decent
I just remembered another one. This was from a level 50ish player being a total noob. He's a jerk anyways and people don't really like him but this is quite funny. I was currently playing a second character of mine that I had just started. I was going to take off the annoying ? beside my name but I thought it might be fun to leave it on. And I didn't regret it or I would have missed this.

Lvl50Noob >> [GM] Hi
Me *knows he's not a GM but interested in what he's trying to pull*
>>Lvl50Noob : Hi
Lvl50Noob >> [GM] Thank you for calling GM, how may I help you today?
>>Lvl50Noob : First of all I didn't call a GM, and secondly the [GM] comes before the name not in the message.
Lvl50Noob >> Oh damn.
Lvl50Noob >> Hehe

Me *makes a real GM call on the idiot trying to impersonate GMs*

Lvl50Noob *isn't seen for a few days, unfortunately not any longer than that*


I wish I'd played along with it longer, would have been interesting to see what he was going to say.
#203 May 10 2004 at 10:33 AM Rating: Decent
Sage
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562 posts
I got the best of both worlds with this one.

After an evening spent farming, I filled up one of my mules with items and clusters, set up all my AH slots, set my bazaar for the night and go to bed.

I wake up in the morning to check my success/failure, and about halfway through the log of 'so-and-so examines you', I see this:

player >> Hi
Player >> Hello
Player >> Can you help me?
Player >> Are you a n00b?
Player >> Why aren't you helping me?
Player >> $#%# you then jerk
Player (shout) {me} is an #$%$, don't talk to him
Player >> Can you give me 500 gil?

I looked him up, in hopes he was still online an I could explain to him what a mule was, but he wasn't.

Oh, and of course you have to replace all the above text with h4x0r letters and speak (you = u, a = 4). I typed it normal because every time I see language used like that I swear I lose 10 IQ points ...
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#204 May 10 2004 at 12:52 PM Rating: Decent
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371 posts
Perhaps it's just frightening to me, or it's not all that known. I'll let you people decide the "newbish level" of this one.

Was in the Quicksand Caves the other day helping people trying to get something, forgot what it was already, I just know we didn't succeed so I wasted my time (and money getting there). Anywho...

Romping on some Anticans, and of course this AOE silence thing didn't help much. So I ask the BRD/WHM if they have Baraera and if so to please cast it. Then they ask why.

At this point I explain to them even status effects have an elemental affinity, Silence: Wind, Poison: Water, Blind: Dark, Petrify: Earth, etc.

The person was a bit amazed that using Bar-ele spells could cut down the ratio of it occuring. Kinda frightened me b/c they were a level 50+ BRD/WHM. Perhaps it's just me from being RDM I know elemental stuff (not all, just some), but I must say that BRD *rocked*, so all's good. ^_^
#205 May 10 2004 at 12:57 PM Rating: Decent
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371 posts
Ooo, one of my favorite Newbish moments, and it's one of my own!

Now, this is what happens when you don't read the manual very well upon first getting the game:

I make my character, etc. everything goes pretty well. YES I DID talk to the stupid opening NPC, ok, there's one, but that's not all. Next when I can finally move I'm having one heck of a time trying to open a menu, I remember being stuck in the stupid Equipment window until I learned how to close it using Escape. Was smashing the keyboard. =D

Secondly, when I sort of get the hang of the menus, I look under my abilities to see what I have, and unknowingly at the time I used my 2hour (Chainspell) and was wondering WTF it did. Of course having only like one spell at the time (Dia), I successfully wasted that thing. =P

Ah, the simple life, and when you can NOT be afraid to solo a mob that's considered EM, DC, or T -_-

*fears EP mobs*
#206 May 10 2004 at 2:16 PM Rating: Decent
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174 posts
Quote:
Ah, Caj... Don't you mean "Aquarius"?
This guy is the master of pulling Aquarius... When you're in a lower level PT (I.e 50ish leveling in that area off Robber Crabs.)


Well I got Pomz killed too so I think it was worth it lol.
#207 May 10 2004 at 2:29 PM Rating: Decent
Was in Koroloka(sp) tunnel with a couple of LS mates. We were all there looking to do the Ninja flag quest. Searched the area and found a lvl 70 jp Ranger who said that he would help us. Met up with him and he guided us to the ??? which spawned the leeches that had to die. We were a little drained from running through and getting aggro from a bevy of bogies. I say to my room-mate "ok let's heal up just in case". Just as I was finishing that thought, my other buddy proceeds to poke the ??? So the three leeches spawn alongside 2 others that were hanging out, and we last maybe 20 seconds. We watch from our dirt naps while the rng whips the leeches, all the while I'm yelling at my buddy in link chat. He kills them, then says (Raise)? We respond, (Please). thought he was just going to search for one in the area, but he runs all the way back to town, changes to whm and raises us all. We thank him, then he runs back to town and all the back as rng again.
So I'm ready to poke the ??? and run like a little b**ch to my mighty ranger. I poke, and i receive the quest item. Little did we know that we only had to kill them once.
It's not anything I heard, but I felt very noobish, and it was quite funny.

(note: this from a 32drk, 33whm and 30war) =D
#208 May 10 2004 at 2:37 PM Rating: Decent
my all time favorite, i'm sitting there fishing when someone walks up and wants to trade with me, i click ok, and he gives me a magicmart flyer...i'm like "dude, you need to give it to npc's" so i turn down the flyer, and he keeps trying to trade me it anyway, so i finally take one, and throw it on the floor and say" there, now you cant do the quest" XD good times
#209 May 10 2004 at 3:44 PM Rating: Decent
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161 posts
Oh. My. Gosh. I'm soooo glad I started reading this thread. It's sooo funny, but I had NO IDEA about a warp crystal! And I was asking a couple times for Teleport Mea the other day too! Thank God no one answered me! LOL.....now I'll need to find where the heck to get a warp crystal.
#210 May 10 2004 at 4:43 PM Rating: Decent
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321 posts
You get a warp crystal from the place you are trying to warp to.
#211 May 10 2004 at 5:12 PM Rating: Good
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1,070 posts
dawntreader- ie, teleport-mea = crag of mea found in tahrongi canyon. each of the mea crags (mea, dem, holla) are "linked" to one of the main cities. Mea=windurst, dem=bastok, holla=sandoria. i dont know the EXACT location of the other two main crystals, but the rags are on the maps. :) GL!

also, i was lost in yhoater jungle back in my RDM days, and somehow found the yhoater gate crystal... ^^; surprised now i didnt die... i was lost in that damn jungle for two weeks!
#212 May 10 2004 at 8:10 PM Rating: Decent
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573 posts
recently educated a L18 WAR with a subjob on how to SORT their inventory.
#213 May 10 2004 at 8:20 PM Rating: Decent
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1,507 posts
Heh. I didnt know there even WERE teleport crystals. Newbishness on my part, oh boy ^^; I know better now.

/wave
To anyone who was on Leviathan late and saw a full alliance of Chibatribe thunder through Bastok a few nights ago ;p
#214 May 10 2004 at 8:36 PM Rating: Decent
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939 posts
Here's a great example of someone who didn't understand the jobs of his party members:

"WTF, man, you're not supposed to chain off YOURSELF you n00b!"

It was a WHM, and our party leader. I never bothered to recall his name, so don't bother asking. ;-) I'm a SAM, and I was using Meikyo Shisui. He got on me with this /tell right after the battle was over (the killing blow was the hit that came RIGHT after my chain, BTW). I tried to explain things to him, but he wouldn't listen and eventually booted me from the party. I simply walked away and put up my flag. I guess he felt he had "schooled" me because he didn't continue to harass me afterwards.
#215 May 10 2004 at 9:23 PM Rating: Decent
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161 posts
Thanks for the help about the teleport crystals :)

I'm still so glad no one offered to help me now. Not sure if I would have been lucky as the person above me and gotten my money back LOL
#216 May 10 2004 at 9:51 PM Rating: Decent
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310 posts
This is a kind of stupid me stupid you story. I was leaving the dunes after some shopping in Selbina, I was around level 38, when I stumbled across two dead bodies outside the gate. After raising them, I checked them and they were level 7-8. They said they were trying to get to San Doria. I formed a party with them so I could safely teleport them out of the dunes to LaTheine. They said "cool". So I cast teleport holla. As the spell took effect I saw "maiha vanishes" and that was it, I could see the two guys still standing there. I arrived at the teleport alone. Still in party, I said, wow, thats really weird.

Then it occurred to me, they were from Bastok and had never been to LaTheine....duh. So I walked back to the dunes and escorted them out..... I am sure they thought I was a complete bozo.

Maiha
Elvaan
47 WHM/23 BLM
Leviathan
#217 May 10 2004 at 10:00 PM Rating: Decent
i had a friend who just started, and we told him to fight crawlers in the East Sarutabaruta, so he gets a stack, and we tell him they sell for 10k about at the AH
*next day*
<friend> dude i sold my silks but i only got about 450, whats going on?
<me> omg, i hate you. hahaha

oh man
he also sold 3 stacks of crystals at the store, geez
#218 May 11 2004 at 10:55 AM Rating: Decent
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931 posts
I had reciently joined a LS and was reading the banter back and forth between everyone. At the time there was only 1 lower level RDM than me. (I was level 6 at the time) Between the requests for money...(which were denied by all), requests for power leveling..(one poor soul decided to help) and requests for raises when they died...
I know I was (at the very least) not the only one rolling their eyes.
A couple of nights later it was pretty much the same thing..except they were offering 200 gil per level for someone to help them power level. (No one accepted LOL) The rest of the night they kept wanting raises. I finally asked what the heck they were fighting. I mean yes I die to every so often..but not as much as they had. They finally told me that they were fighting EVEN MATCHES. O_o When asked why in the world they weren't fighting something easier I got told "because they give better EXP". Uh...yeah but you DIE easier and you spend half of the game waiting for raises! And they were like "Not all the time". I finally gave up and told them to start fighting easier things. And all they do is whine that decent challenges were too hard to find. /sigh

Heck I'm lower level...but I was never THAT bad. LOL
^_^
#219 May 11 2004 at 11:09 AM Rating: Decent
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352 posts
Quote:
my all time favorite, i'm sitting there fishing when someone walks up and wants to trade with me, i click ok, and he gives me a magicmart flyer...i'm like "dude, you need to give it to npc's" so i turn down the flyer, and he keeps trying to trade me it anyway, so i finally take one, and throw it on the floor and say" there, now you cant do the quest" XD good times


LOL thats pretty funny!
#220 May 11 2004 at 12:32 PM Rating: Decent
This was in SAndy on Valefor one day. My LS got a great laugh out of it.

Noob shouting: How do I talk in green letters?

>.<

LOL
#221 May 11 2004 at 2:08 PM Rating: Decent
yea here is a nice one. Me and my friend started a crafting guild, and i get a /t from they guy, tihs is how it went:

XXX:/t hey can i join your ls
<me>/t only if your lvl 30+ in a craft or 40+ job level.
XXX: Well im lvl 200 bone craft (knew right there he was lying, but wanted to mess with him a bit) and im a lvl 45 Rng.
<me> /sea all XXX Lvl 1 war
XXX: Well can i?
<me>: ok but you have to answer some question first: 1. Do you have a gold chocobo, and if so, what rank is it. and 2. Have you fought the "Crag" in La Thiene and won?
XXX: Yes i do, but i forgot his rank ><. And i fought the crag and kicked it ***.
<me> /blist add XXX
~~~
When ever im sad or bored, i just think of that and it cheers me up ^^
#222 May 11 2004 at 6:13 PM Rating: Decent
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52 posts
hyperburner wrote:
Naturally he and my roomate want to try a Bogy. There line of reasoning being "Hey, we're doing fine, they can't be that tough." After about 10 minutes of us argueing, me and the other healer in the group flat out say no, and if they pull one we're zoning without asking or healing. I swear. Sometimes I wonder why people can't just stop and listen sometimes.



Reminds me of a guy I ran into while doing Genkai 1. No matter how many times people yelled at him he kept on trying to get our alliance to pull a Ka in Eldieme Necropolis.

As for Bogies, they still give me major probs at lvl 45 in dunes and gusgen. Nasty things. ><
#223 May 11 2004 at 6:32 PM Rating: Decent
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352 posts
Quote:
yea here is a nice one. Me and my friend started a crafting guild, and i get a /t from they guy, tihs is how it went:

XXX:/t hey can i join your ls
<me>/t only if your lvl 30+ in a craft or 40+ job level.
XXX: Well im lvl 200 bone craft (knew right there he was lying, but wanted to mess with him a bit) and im a lvl 45 Rng.
<me> /sea all XXX Lvl 1 war
XXX: Well can i?
<me>: ok but you have to answer some question first: 1. Do you have a gold chocobo, and if so, what rank is it. and 2. Have you fought the "Crag" in La Thiene and won?
XXX: Yes i do, but i forgot his rank ><. And i fought the crag and kicked it ***.
<me> /blist add XXX
~~~
When ever im sad or bored, i just think of that and it cheers me up ^^


Now why would you blacklist this person? Its just some noob wanting to join an LS. I mean thats a bit harsh he didnt call you an @ss or anything, although to me you seem like an @ss for Blisting him. But then again i don't know you so I can't make that determination.
#224 May 11 2004 at 7:58 PM Rating: Default
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52 posts
Things that amaze me:

1. People trying to sell stacks on bazaar. Even more so with high lvl people.

2. High level players that still don't know how to play. (BLM Meleeing in Crawler's Nest, Ranger without a bow at lvl 38, PLD that can't hold hate)

3. Level 1-10 player outside hometown waiting on raise. (I usually sit on these people until they get a clue. ;oP )

Noob encounters:

Guy trying to sell a crab apron in Bastok Markets-

<newbie> /sh Selling crab apron for 5k needed for sub jobs!
<me> (laughing at my comp) /t I'll buy it for 10k!
<newbie> /t ok
<me> /t meet me at the hp

we meet and get the trade going, I show him the 10k gil on the screen and wait for him to try to load the apron. He never even bothers to check me and see that I don't need it.

<newbie> /s It's not letting me trade!
<me> /s Uh-huh that would be why I offered 10k for it
<newbie> /s wait let me try again

we swap trade screens about 3 more times, then he says sorry he can't sell it, and I tell him about EX items.

<newbie> /t There must be something I can do with it. I'm going to find a way to sell it!


Newbie train in windy:

I was on my way out to east sar to lvl up SMN a bit for the first time when I saw some noobs getting a 3 person pt together. I chatted with them a min then popped the big question

<me> So, you all gonna pt and kill each other's xp?

I got cursed at a bit and decided to follow them around east sar. (and summoned carby a bunch which still didn't click with them that I knew what I was doing.) I tried to do the right thing and teach them how to get off lvl 1, but got plenty of bad attitude from them. I got to watch their whole pt get almost no xp and die at least 3 times to crawlers, yagos, and crows. It was just so funny seeing one noob follow the other as they each went out to eventually all die again. I even yelled noob train coming through at them about the 2nd time I saw them come out of windy. I finally had to switch to my lvl 40 thf and start killing stuff in single hits with my boomerang to get them to start listening to me. They learned finally.

Noob in Horototo Ruins south tower:

This one was kind of bad of me. I was down lvling up my whm up past 10 and run into a thf about the same lvl trying to do windy mission there and get some xp. He asks me to pt since we're close enough lvls so I say ok, but I needed a lot of the drops there. I started casting on the stuff I needed and he flips out and yells at me "NO LOTS!" in caps like that. I immediately reacted "/p no lots, no pt" and I disbanded a second after he picked a fight with gobs. He died quick.

One of my worst noob moments:

Some how I had it in my head I was gonna do the ruins windy missions no matter what at around lvl 7 thf. Ran into a RPer on my way to the south tower. Got to talking and played along with the RPing, and asked him if he would escort me through the tower. Didn't know he was about the same lvl as me and couldn't handle it. We both got in there and suddenly I got disconnected out of the blue. He got lost and by the time I logged back on he was yelling for help and I couldn't find him.

One of my other worst moments was hitting F8 and nailing a caveberry in crawler's nest while my pt had just pulled a beetle. >< I still remember when I used to say "I can't wait until I can solo crawler's nest for silk." then when I pted there for the first time 2 words crossed my mind "Yeah. Right."
#225 May 11 2004 at 8:46 PM Rating: Decent
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172 posts
Today in Bastok, some lvl 1 war shouted WTF!!!! I can't jump!?
#226 May 11 2004 at 8:53 PM Rating: Good
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981 posts
Them>> Can you spare 4,000 gil?
Me>> o.O what the... no
Them>> =) why not you look rich
Me>> Eh... 4,000g is a lot of money to throw around.
Them>> O rly?
Me>> Yeah you should try farming or something... what lvl are you?
Them>> 2
Me>> Why would you need 4,000g?
Them>> I want a (I forget) +1... it looks better than the other
Me>> Well glad you want to max your gear out but one, you can't use it till lvl (something), two, you really don't need the boost it gives, you're a mage.
Them>> O i c... so how do I farm?
Me>> Kill stuff when you're like lvl 10...just kill crawlers for silk.
Them>> o ok... what do i do with the silk?
Me>> ...sell it?

(about 3 hours later)

Them>> Hey thx for showing me how to make money ^_^
Me>> NP how ya doin?
Them>> I sold 28 silks
Me>> WOW! Nice job! How much?
Them>> The shop gave me 200 or so gil for them.
Me>> *vein pop* _(._.)_

(I coulda swore I felt something in my forehead pop x.x)
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