Outland - It Sucks! - by LockeColeMA (WoW)
Junkboxing wiped her brow as she ran back across the desolate wasteland. Looking up she noticed the floating islands on their twisting path through a sky alive with nether energy and bolts of lightning. Ever since she had come to Outland it had been nothing but demons, heat, and freaky skies. The months spent in Lower Blackrock Spire, picking junkboxes for her friend Aureliano had been better than this!
"At least with smelly orcs I didn't have to contend with half the crap you see out here!" She muttered.
She faded into the shadows as she worked her way up the path back to her latest employer, a goblin by the name of Razelcraz. She had heard of him from some passing adventurers, and the prospect of sneaking up behind Thrallmar to work with the notoriously unscrupulous green-skinned mercenary ignited the adrenaline in her roguish blood. The fact that he had a sense of humor helped offset the annoying voice she found all goblins possessed. "Outland Sucks!" was the first thing he had said to her, and the dwarf agreed. However, the gold and fel iron he gave her as a reward for finding some parts was good enough to take up her most recent task. Hopefully he believed her report.
Sneaking up behind him and bypassing his felhounds, which the enterprising goblin has apparently trained like pets, she stepped out of the shadows and said "Hey, Razelcraz, they're free."
"Whoa!" He said, "Give me a heart attack why don'tcha? Thanks for saving my peons... Now maybe I can get them to fix my shredder with those parts you found, earn some money and get out of Outland. I can't wait to be back in Booty Bay."
Junkboxing smiled to herself. The fact that his "peons" simply ran off after she freed them didn't lend much to their chances of getting away. But as Razelcraz tossed her some gold and some booze, she thought to herself that since they seem to be working for the Horde, she couldn't care less.
"So, what's next? No offense, but it's better for the Alliance if you get back to Booty Bay soon, too. Or you could always join us..."
"Ha! Fat chance!" He sneered, "Those old fogeys at Honor Hold don't care much for me. Besides, I have a perfectly good mine here, all to myself, as soon as I get the shredder going. Well, let's pop in the keys and see how it goes!" Foreman Razelcraz grinned and reached in her pocket. "Eh? That's odd... I have one new set of holes in my pocket, and no keys!" Looking down, he saw the smiling (maybe?) maw of one of his felhounds. As comprehension dawned on his green face, he turned back to Junkboxing. "Um... I might have another mission for you. I seem to have lost the keys. I keep a pack of felhounds to protect my camp. They don't do a very good job and they like to bite me a lot. They also like shiny things. I think this one felhound I have may have eaten my shredder keys. I'll pay you if you'll take my felhound on a walk. Kill some helboars and let him eat. He'll do his business. When he's done, see if you can't find the keys in his "leavings.""
Junkboxing looked from the grinning felhound to the goblin, and back again.
"Let me get this straight. You want me to walk your felhound, have it eat some demonic boars, poop, and look through it?"
Razelcraz scratched his head.
"Yeah, that's pretty much it!"
Junkboxing sighed.
"Outland Sucks!"
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